Dirty Sweet Cowboy

Tentatively, I take a couple more steps into the apartment. It’s not bad. Clean, in a nice neighborhood with good access to transportation. She’s picked a few quality pieces of furniture to get started: a green velvet couch, a dinette set with drop leaves. Framed pictures cluster on the wall over the table, and I see the smiling faces of her parents and brother .

“This is a great apartment. Really great .”

“Yeah, it is… Ethan, why are you here ?”

I clear my throat, searching for the right words to say .

“I guess… I want to try something new. Maybe expand my horizons .”

She knuckles her hip, casting her weight to one side and rolling her eyes .

“Okay… do you want to tell me what that means ?”

“It means that… I mean…” The words fail me. I take a deep breath and try again. “It means I want you to answer my texts. On a regular basis .”

“I have no idea what you are talking about .”

“I have been texting you for two weeks. You haven’t responded at all .”

“Well, what’s the point, Ethan? We already decided not to do anything …”

“But you were at my condo. We were together,” I explain, confused as to why she’s making this so difficult. “I thought we were really getting somewhere. I felt like we had something, didn’t you ?”

She tips her head back, staring at the ceiling in frustration .

“Ava, if it’s your family… I’m an excellent negotiator. I can talk to them. I can make them understand — ”

“Ethan, don’t be crazy — you’re never going to be able to make them understand !”

Her voice is thick with frustration, anger maybe. I walk toward her, eager to hold her in my arms. If I can just get my arms around her again I’m sure that I can reach her. She can’t be this closed off for me, can she ?

“But I want to try,” I say, quieter. “I want to try… with us .”

“That’s ridiculous!” she exclaims. “How do you even know ?”

Her eyes focus on mine, challenging me with her bold stare .

“What you mean, how do I know? I just know. I feel it. I feel like there’s something between us. You have to know that too, Ava. Admit it .”

“So, there’s something between us, so what? Have you ever tried? Have you ever been with anybody for longer than a week, Ethan? Tell the truth. Because I know for a fact that you haven’t !”

I shake my head. She’s got a point. As I walk through the dining room, the urge to touch her becomes stronger. If I can just connect with her, I know she’ll understand how sincere I am .

“Yeah, you’re right,” I finally admit. “I haven’t ever felt this way before. But I want to try. I need to try .”

Her cheeks redden. She bites her lips together and shakes her head stubbornly .

“Ava, please,” I whisper. I reach out and touch just the edge of her arm, noticing how it practically sparks against my thumb. It’s there. The connection is there .

“No, I can’t…” she whispers. I see her chin trembling and take that final step, gathering her in my arms. She shakes her head and buries her face against my chest, pounding meekly at me with her tiny balled-up fists .

“Quit fighting it,” I murmur. “I’m making you an offer you definitely can’t refuse, Ava .”

Tipping her chin toward me, she blinks again, searching my eyes. I try to hold nothing back, so she can see whatever there is to see in me. She takes my hand, pulling it down, letting it rest across her belly. I’m confused, but I appreciate the gesture and let my palm rest there, happy to touch her .

She doesn’t say anything .

Something feels… different .