Dirty Sweet Cowboy

Her eyes widen and she snaps the laptop closed. “Well, I did not know that. You learn something new every day, I guess .”

“If you’re lucky,” I quip .

Raising my arms, I turn in a half circle. What do I really, really need in here anyway? Crib? Dresser? Baby stuff can’t possibly take up that much room .

In fact, I could live in here and give them my room. If I have to have two cribs, the bigger space would really come in handy .

“Hey, maybe your mom still has some of your baby stuff. Did you ask her?” Bea suggests helpfully .

“Oh… that’s a really good idea. Yeah, let me just text her. I could probably run up this weekend and — ”

“And what ?”

My breath is caught in my throat. I stare at the face of my cell phone, beginning to tremble .

“Ava? You okay? Are you in labor ?”

I can’t answer her. I’m still trying to make sense of the alert on the front of my phone. It’s an email for my mother. Just the first fifteen words, but it’s enough .

“Ava?” she says again, carefully reaching for my phone. She takes it from my hand and glances at the front. “Oh my God .”

“I’m going to kill him .”

“You can’t kill him. You’ll go to jail! You’ve got babies on the way !”

I barely hear her as I rush to the living room, snatching my bag off the table and swooping out the door. I’m all nerves, filled with a bright crimson fog that blots out every thought as it starts to boil to the

surface .

When I arrive at Ethan’s condo, he’s sprawled on his sofa, headset in his ear, talking at the ceiling about something or somebody in Malaysia, how he’s leveraging something or other. He holds up one finger and smiles when he sees me, silently asking me to wait .

I glare at him, almost boiling over .

“Yeah, Digger? I’m gonna have to get back to you,” he mutters carefully, squinting at me like I’m a bomb that might go off. “Just shoot me an email with the details. We will work it out .”

Plucking the headphone from his ear he stands up, with his hands out. “Now, Ava, I want you to think really carefully about whatever it is you want say to me. You know I would only do what I thought was best for — ”

“You told them!” I spit out, trembling so hard I think I’m going to fall over. “You went behind my back and you told them ! ”

He takes a step toward me, but I take a step back. There are at least three things within arm’s length that I could throw at him, so I hope he doesn’t try to get any closer. I really don’t .

“You said, remember? You said it couldn’t stay like this, Ava. You’re right. It couldn’t stay a big secret like that. Something had to be done .”

“But they’re my parents! It wasn’t up to you !”

“But you weren’t doing it,” he explains helplessly, holding his hands out .

“I wasn’t ready !”

“Now you don’t have to be ready. That’s good, right? It’s done. The Band-Aid is ripped off. The worst is over !”

The room seems to be getting smaller. Everything falls into a tunnel, with him at the end of it and blackness all around. I can barely breathe, I’m choking on so much emotion .

“Now there’s nobody!” I manage to spit out. “I thought I could trust you, Ethan! Even after everything I know about you… I thought I could trust you !”

He looks hurt, his brow knotting in the middle .

“You can trust me,” he objects quietly .