I blinked and shook my head, trying to rid myself of these crazy ideas. It’d be impossible to go on this way. All I was doing was torturing myself with memories of an almost-kiss that was never going to happen, when I should just let it go. Just like I needed to let go of this dumb crush I still carried for him. He was just my employer.
Just like I needed to let go of his hand.
The new crush I had on Ben was, admittedly, different from what it was when I was a little girl, only twelve. Back then, it had been a spark for a handsome, sophisticated older man. Now, despite the fact I was still a virgin, I was a woman, and he was most certainly a man, and crush seemed like too tame of a word to describe the flood in my panties every time he turned his eyes my way.
He pulled me over to a large elevator that I hadn’t used before. “This will be quicker.”
I f
ollowed him into the large car, gasping at the opulence around me—which was saying something considering the Imperial’s already record-breaking level of luxury. Elegant Christmas decorations gleamed on the already opulent walls. The plush carpeting almost swallowed the kitten heels I’d chosen to wear to the meeting with the school counselor, and I wiggled my toes in the shoes as I imagined running my feet over the carpet instead. It was soft enough to lie down on.
Or get fucked on, whispered a voice in the back of my mind.
I shifted restlessly and barely held back a moan at the thought. In desperation, I looked away from the floor and instead found my gaze meeting Ben’s in the mirrored wall. There was hunger in his expression. He’d been standing behind me, but off to the side. Now, he moved to completely envelop my back, and I watched in our reflection while I stood frozen and burning hot at the same time. I trembled as his hands hovered over my shoulders for just a moment before laying claim to them. I was still looking at the mirrored version of Ben and couldn’t turn my head to face him yet.
He bent his head to rest his face slightly against my brown hair. He drew in a deep breath.
“Why do you always smell so good? It’s like sunshine…”
I giggled nervously. “I didn’t know that I did. I’m not even sure what sunshine smells like, Ben.”
“Like citrus and happiness and innocence.” He pressed deeper into my back. Was that hard ridge pushing against me his cock? Need swelled in me as he swept hair off my shoulder before nuzzling my neck. His mouth drifted to my ear, and he whispered, “Are you very innocent, Lindsay?”
I didn’t feel very innocent at that moment. My nipples were hard, tight peaks begging for attention, and I was dripping with need. I whimpered as his teeth grazed the side of my neck. “Are you?” The question was firmer this time, demanding an answer.
I pressed closer to him, reaching back tentatively to put my trembling hand on his hip. “Yes,” I said as more of a sigh than a word.
“Fuck, that makes me hot. I should do the right thing and push you away, and we should both pretend this isn’t happening.”
I moaned again, this time in distress at the idea of stopping. All the reasons this was a bad idea no longer seemed as important as the pulsing ache between my thighs that was crying out for Ben to satisfy.
“That’s what I should do, but unless you tell me to, I can’t.” With a sudden motion that left me dizzy, he spun me in his arms so I was looking into his eyes, not the mirrored version. His expression in his bright eyes was intense, and almost scary, but it didn’t frighten me away. I did my best to look straight at him and project a confidence I wasn’t quite feeling.
“Is that what you want, baby?” he whispered. “Do you want me to take you to my bed, and make you mine tonight?” His head bent lower, and his lips were teasingly close to mine, though he didn’t bridge the gap.
He was leaving the decision to me, making me speak it aloud. It would have been so much easier if he just swept me off my feet with some sweet kisses and the kind of touching that would get me to agree to anything.
I was a bit too shy to want to say it aloud, though part of me respected him for giving me the final say. The question was, was I brave enough to take what I wanted, and damn the consequences? Or would I spend another night alone, touching myself and wishing I’d accepted—even if it was a one -night thing, and risked everything I had?
I looked up at him, lips parting slowly as he waited for my answer.
Chapter 1
Ben
As I fixed my tie, adjusting it to perfection, I could hear my daughter Elle screaming from her room. Smothering an impatient curse, I reached for my jacket on the way out of the master bedroom and crossed the short distance to Elle’s room. I opened the door to a chaotic scene. Unfortunately, Elle’s meltdowns were becoming our new morning routine. It was a rare day when she got dressed peacefully and was ready to be dropped at her exclusive private school without running the risk of being late. I got in the habit of setting my alarm an extra half hour early and having the maid wake Elle forty-five minutes sooner just to deal with the tantrums and inevitable morning conflict.
If only the problem were confined to mornings. That I could almost take. With Elle these days, it’s a constant stream of acting out. I couldn’t blame her—she’s been through a lot, but so have I.
I did my best to maintain calm, and fixed a small smile on my face as I approached my daughter, who was currently screaming from her walk-in closet as she tossed clothes out at the poor maid. I gave Betsy a sympathetic look, marveling for perhaps the hundredth time that she hadn’t yet quit her job and run far away from all our family drama.
She cast a longing glance at the door, and I nodded. She didn’t ask again, or linger to check if it was okay. Betsy ran for it, almost literally jogging from the room and leaving me to face my daughter alone.
It honestly terrified me, but certainly not because Elle was physically intimidating. She was on the small side for her age and thin. She looked too much like Ashe for comfort sometimes, but she most certainly wasn’t like Ashe much in personality. Even her rages and fits came from a place of insecurity rather than the drug and alcohol addiction that had plagued my ex-wife. To this day, that disease probably still plagued her, though I wouldn’t know for certain. When Ashe had lost custody of Elle during a vicious legal battle—which I suspected she undertook as a way to hurt me rather than because she wanted to be responsible for our child—she hadn’t bothered to maintain contact with her only daughter. I had her address, and I occasionally had my people check in on her to make sure she was still alive, but she hadn’t taken advantage of any of her visitation with Elle for months. I’m sure it hurt Elle, but honestly, I was relieved. As long as Ashe was a junkie, my daughter was absolutely better off without her.
“Hey honey, what’s the problem?” I asked, doing my best to sound patient and reasonable. Elle had a way of pushing my buttons and escalating the situation until I could no longer stay cool. I was determined not to lose it today.
“I can’t find my iPhone X case.”