“Of course we will. We’ll take care of you.” I pull her into a side hug. “We’ll be right there with you,” I add, hoping to get her to relax a bit.
Jessa offers me a small smile, but her posture is still stiff. Maybe the only way to get her to relax around the horses will be to get her on one. Cupcake is about the nicest mare we’ve ever had, so hopefully if we can’t change Jessa’s mind, Cupcake can.
Trey helps Jessa mount the mare, and gives her a few pieces of advice. He shows her how to direct Cupcake—the mare is trained to move when the reins touch her neck, so she’ll be easy for Jessa to control. Cupcake is also used to trail riding, and she’ll follow the other horses without Jessa having to do all that much. It’s quite clear Jessa’s never ridden before, so she listens to what Trey tells her intently. Still, tension is obvious in every inch of her frame.
“You need to relax. The mare can feel your tension, and it will make her nervous, too.” Trey says, rubbing Jessa’s arm comfortingly.
She swallows hard, then jerks her head in a nod. “Okay. I’ll try.”
Chapter 15
Tyler
About ten minutes into the ride, Jessa seems to relax somewhat. Trey has taken the lead, with Clay and Joshua behind us. I ride next to Jessa, and I’m far too fucking pleased that my presence seems to reassure her. Plus, the other guys are just far enough away that we have something close to privacy.
“So this is your first time on a horse?” I ask her.
A nervous laugh escapes her. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yep,” I say. At her outraged gasp, I chuckle. “You’re doing well for a first-timer.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Why do I think you’re half-lying?”
“Because you’re suspicious by nature? Must be the reporter in you.”
She laughs again, and I do my best not to preen at the sound. Making Jessa laugh is now one of my top favorite things to do.
“This place is so lovely,” she says, her gaze flashing over the trail.
I don’t even have the heart to tell her the real view is still coming. “It is.”
“Are you happy to be home?”
Her innocent question makes me cringe inside, but it has nothing to do with her. “Mostly.” When she frowns, I add, “I love it here, don’t get me wrong. I just... It’s hard to come home when you’ve avoided it for so long.” But I have missed it. I can admit that now, at least. Although the first couple of years after I took off from home I couldn’t have said such a thing—even in my own head. It might have been true, even then, but I’d needed that time away. Maybe not as much time as I’d taken, however.
“Why would you avoid it here?” she asks, then she flinches. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid question. I heard… about your parents, I mean.”
The heavy weight of sadness that always hits me when my parents come up doesn’t hit as hard today. And I wonder if I’m finally starting to be able to deal with it better. “It’s not that—well, not exactly that. I’ve been embarrassed to come home. To stay here.”
Her brow scrunches adorably. “Why would you be embarrassed?” When I hesitate to answer, she gives me a teasing grin. “Are there some terrible teenage pictures out there of you that you’re hiding from? How gangly were you, exactly?”
I can’t help but chuckle. Damn, but I love how easy she makes it to talk to her. “I got into some trouble after Mom and Dad died.” I shake my head. “I was so pissed off. Not at them—not exactly—but pissed at the world, I guess. I ended up in some fights and got an assault charge. Some vandalism when I was a teen...”
Hell, I’ve never really talked about any of this. But something about Jessa makes me want to tell her everything. It’s unnerving. I’m not the confessing type—nor do I like talking about feelings. I especially don’t care to talk about my feelings.
Fingertips brush against my arm, and I look at her. Pain is apparent in her eyes, as is frustration.
“Stupid horse won’t get closer so I can touch you,” she grumbles, keeping her voice low.
I can’t tell her how much I appreciate her respecting my privacy, even around my brothers. I edge my horse closer to hers and take her hand. “Thank you.”
Her frown deepens. “For what?”
For not looking at me like I am a criminal. For keeping this between us—I know she will. For somehow making me talk about all this shit to get it off my chest. “For listening.”
She squeezes my hand. “Tyler, you aren’t a criminal. And you have no reason to be embarrassed about coming home. You made some mistakes when you were a kid—it’s no wonder, losing your parents when you were only sixteen.” Her gaze moves to Trey ahead of us, still out of earshot with our voices pitched low. “Your brothers love you. And it’s obvious that they miss you when you’re gone. I know they’d love for you to come home permanently.”
Hope surges in my chest, choking me for a moment. I almost ask her if she’ll be here if I do, but I keep my mouth shut. I might be a runner, but Jessa has the looks of a runner, too. Getting too serious with her too quickly... I don’t know why she’d run, but I feel it in my bones that she would.