Bucked

One

Chastity

“Howdy ma’am, I think you dropped something.”

The hand that holds out the small piece of paper is strong, tanned, veiny. Long-fingered. My eyes trail across the muscular forearm, the rolled-up sleeves straining over strong biceps and broad shoulders, and settle on a pair of dark eyes. They flash, framed by a fringe of dark eyelashes underneath the shade of a black cowboy hat. I’m momentarily speechless, struck by their fierce intensity.

I force myself to rip my eyes away. That’s the last thing I need, a gorgeous man holding out a gorgeous hand to me. I take the paper, and glance at it quickly. It’s a receipt. And of course, it’s for tequila. I can feel the blush beginning in my neck and crawling up my cheeks. I hope he didn’t look at it. Gah.

“Thanks,” I say quickly, sneaking another look at him. The strong jaw, the collar open at the neck, just the beginning of bronzed pecs, all are tempting my eye to explore further.

“Why, you’re very welcome,” he says, his southern accent dripping like honey.

I’m not sure what to say. The way he’s looking at me right now, expectantly, intently, I can tell he wants something. Something I’m not sure I can give anymore. Or ever again. It’s the last thing I want, to engage with such a man. And besides that, there’s danger behind that sweet voice. Behind those gorgeous eyes. Something dark. I can tell, because I’ve got my own darkness. I keep it hidden as much as possible. But there are some things you just can’t hide. Takes one to know one, is what they say, and it’s true.

He clears his throat, touches me lightly on the shoulder, and says, “Well, you have a nice day now.”

The touch shouldn’t affect me, but it does. I want more, but at the same time I want to get away from him as fast as I can.

“Thanks. You as well.” I start to walk away, but then he grabs my arm lightly. His fingers electrify me, like touching a live wire.

“You’re not from around here are you?” His eyelids lower slightly and he flicks them open to move over my body, then back to my eyes. It’s a lazy look, and an entitled one. I should be mad. But I’m not. Damn men like him. Men with slow grins, revealing perfect rows of dangerous white teeth.

“No, I’m not. I just moved here.”

Is it that obvious that I’m an outsider? I’m sure it’s my accent, but I’ve felt like one all my life. Can’t I just belong somewhere? It’s my turn to be embarrassed again. I wonder when his turn will come to be embarrassed. Probably never.

“Where did you move from?” he asks, somehow conspiratorially, making me feel like we’re the only ones in the room.

“From Canada,” I say, and grin.

“Canada huh? Is that in Texas?” He winks. “See you sometime, Canada.”

The heat that was reddening my cheeks travels in a flash down my body to my core. And to my mortification, I actually feel myself getting wet. I don’t know how he’s done this in just a few moments. With my last boyfriend, the man who eventually became my husband, I don’t think that ever happened. And we were together five years. But this man has done, in the span of a few words, what my husband never could. Impossible. But undeniable.

I try not to watch him walk away. Lacey comes up behind me, two brightly colored drinks in her hands, each with a little paper umbrella sticking out. She hands me one and when she leans in, she whispers, “Oh my God, Chastity, do you know who that guy was?”

“I want to say, ‘the hottest man I’ve ever seen,’ but other than that, no.”

I’m sure the remnants of the blush are still on my cheeks, along with an embarrassed smile. Lacey’s eyes are flashing with excitement.

“Well, yeah, he is, but he’s even more than that.” She’s whispering now, but I’ve never heard her sound so thrilled. not that I’ve known her that long, but I’m not sure if I’ve heard anybody sound that thrilled. “That was the biggest friggin’ cowboy rodeo star who’s ever set foot in Texas.”

“You know I’m not into that kind of thing,” I say.

“How do you know? Have you ever been to the rodeo?”

She’s got me there. “No, that’s true, I’ve never been… but I’ve also never had a single urge to go in my entire life.”

That is, before this very moment. I wouldn’t mind seeing those eyes again, but from a safe spot, way up in the stands. Hundreds of feet away.

“I’m getting us tickets,“ Lacey says firmly. “It’s happening.”

It’s useless to argue with her. “I didn’t even know you needed tickets for the rodeo,” I say, trying to change the subject.

“Well, I’m certain you’re going to learn a lot down here,” she grins wickedly. “About a lot of things.”

“You’re probably right about that.” It’s true, Texas is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. But it’ll be my home for a while, so I might as well make the most of it. “But I’m not sure I want to learn anything from that cowboy.”

We sit down in tall chairs at a table overlooking the track. As she sips her drink, Lacey’s eyes widen. “Mmm, pineapple, my favorite,” she says. “So sweet.”

Sweet like that man’s voice. “So what’s the name of that guy?” I ask, looking away, trying to seem casual. So much for changing the subject, I guess. I can’t get off it even if I want to.

“I heard his name used to be Kent, but now he goes by something else.”

“What?”

“Kanen. They call him The Wrecker.” A smile begins on her face. “And I bet he can wreck some things pretty good.”

I bet she’s right. My mind goes back to those hands, large delicate-fingered hands. I imagine them going around my waist, pulling me close, in my hair. These are hands that could be a pianist’s, a surgeon’s, anything that requires delicacy and strength. I know exactly what the perfect strength and controlled hands could do to me. Not to mention the rest of him.

And I need to make sure that they never do.

I try to keep my mind on the racetrack, on the fun day out that Lacey has planned for us, but it’s not easy. These unexpected feelings toward Kent, or Kanen, or whatever it is that he calls himself, have really unsettled me. There’s a sensation in my heart that hasn’t been there for a long time, maybe ever. And it’s not altogether pleasant. When I came to Texas, I wasn’t planning on getting involved with any man, much less a famous rodeo cowboy. So why I’ve suddenly had such a strong reaction to this man I only just met is frightening me. And I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with such a feeling.

I shake my head to clear it. I’ve gotta lighten up. Lacey wants to have fun, to enjoy the weather and the excitement of the horse races, not to watch me to obsess over a man that I don’t even know, simply because he’s gorgeous. And electric.

She’s holding the race schedule, and she seems super excited about the next race. “So what do you say? Is it going to be Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag in the fifth?” She studies the schedule a little more. “Hey wait, how about this one? Rodeo Clown? Maybe you should bet on him!” Her laugh is innocent and fun, but the last thing I want to do is bet on this horse.

In more ways than one.

You see, I came here to Texas to forget. To forget what it was like to be in love, what it was to be with a man, to rely on one, even to expect his baby. Because the last time it happened, it ended in a way that nobody would’ve foreseen—but nonetheless I’m the one who has to live with the consequences.

My husband, Jeffrey, and I were high school sweethearts. And it seemed like everyone always knew we would be married. And once we had, it wasn’t long before we were expecting a child. So when he got into the car wreck, with me in the passenger seat, and his failing eyes stared at me as the motor roared, wheels spinning on the side of the road, well... I lost a lot of things that day. My hope for the future, my husband, and, in a mere few hours more, my unborn baby. The impact was too much, and the airbag hit my belly too hard, I guess. They tried to save Jeff, but the surgery didn’t take, and there was nothing anyone could do.

The saddest thing about it was how excited Jeff had seemed, planning to have a baby with me. Sometimes he acted even more excited than I was. He would go over baby names on the internet, and come to me with different ideas all the time. Sometimes he wanted to name the child after his dad, to keep it in the family, and sometimes he imagined funny names that would be more appropriate for a rock star’s or an actor’s baby. I guess I thought that meant he was excited, anyway.

“Hey girl, where’d you go?” Lacey’s peering in my eyes, her smile questioning. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”