“Yes, we’ve been over this. I’m going to find those bastards this week and…” She holds up a hand and cuts me off.
“This isn’t about the money, Pierce. This is about something else. This is about… our daughter.”
It feels as if all the air has been sucked out of the room. Everything starts to spin, and I begin to feel dizzy, sick, unhinged. Like the world isn’t spinning on the right axis anymore and I’m about to float away.
“What do you mean ‘our daughter?’ Because we’re together, right? You want to be Chloe’s mother?” I’m grasping at straws. Hoping for any other answer than the obvious one.
“I think you know exactly what I mean, Pierce. Chloe is my little girl. Yours and mine. When they told me there was no way they were going to be able to save me, I didn’t know what to do. I was desperate. I couldn’t leave her with Marie and Sal; they are even more broke than me, and they don’t have the resources to take care of a child. I didn’t want her to end up in foster care, so the obvious answer was to make sure she was raised by the one parent she had left. That was you. I didn’t want her to be burdened with memories of her deadbeat, sick mother, so I found Roger Bailey, and he agreed to help me. To help Chloe, start her new life.”
I collapse back against the counter, afraid my legs are going to give out. “Fuck, Arie. Why didn’t you tell me? When you got here that day, pretending to want to be her nanny, why didn’t you just tell me then?”
Tears start to form in Arie’s eyes, and she brushes them away with the back of her hand. “Because of the Cannizzos! I knew they were still after me, still are after me. I didn’t want to take the chance of you and Chloe getting hurt, so I thought if I stay close, but distant, I could keep you safe until I figured things out. But nothing worked out the way I planned, and I fell in love with you again. I didn’t expect it happen, or for us to be here like this, again. But it did happen. And I knew I had to tell you before we moved to New Zealand. I couldn’t hide the truth from you anymore.”
Oh my god, New Zealand. We’re moving to New Zealand. Arie is Chloe’s mother. We have a child together and we’re moving to New Zealand. I can’t breathe. I’ve never had a panic attack in my life, but I imagine this is what it feels like. I’m full of rage at Arie for lying, and sadness that she felt so hopeless, and desperation because I have no idea what to do. Even though I wish it didn’t, the rage wins out.
“Well. I guess you’re lucky Chloe still isn’t talking. She might have called you ‘mommy’ and given away your whole game.”
Arie’s face collapses. “Pierce, please. Please try to understand. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Don’t you see? I signed away all of my rights to my child. She is entirely yours now. If you decide you never want to see me again, and took her and went to New Zealand without me, I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. But I needed you to know the truth. I couldn’t keep lying you to you. Because I love you.”
I back away slowly, trying to temper my breathing like I learned in the SEALs. I walk past Arie, ignored the look of hurt on her face, go into my bedroom, grab a pair of sweats and a t-shirt off the floor, put them on, and then head right back out for the front door. I need to think. I need fresh air, air that isn’t heavy with so many lies. I’m almost to the elevator door when Arie runs up behind me and grabs my arm.
“Wait, Pierce! Please! Don’t just walk out. We need to talk about this.”
Her face crumples into a mass of tears, but I can’t focus on anything but the betrayal.
“I’m sorry, Arie. I can’t think right now. I’m not sure I have a right to be mad, but I am. I know you were sick. I know it seemed like your only option, but Jesus — ” I stop, mid-sentence. There’s nothing else I can add. My chest clenches tight. “I need to get out of here.”
How did I not know?
I can hear her sobbing as the elevator door shuts behind me, hiding my own tears as they trickle down my cheeks.
Arie
I don’t know what I expected would happen when I told Pierce the truth. That he would forgive me on the spot? Understand why I lied to him for all these weeks? Months even? There was no way that would happen. But the look of utter betrayal on his face was more than I could bear. I don’t think I’ve ever been this devastated in all my life, and it’s entirely my own doing. I should have told him right away, I should have picked honesty. And because I didn’t, I might lose the love of my life and my daughter in one fell swoop.
I’m not letting him go without a fight, I think as I run into my room and grab some shorts and t-shirt. I will find Pierce, no matter what it takes, and I will tell him how sorry I am and beg him to forgive me. I will look for him all night if I have to. I’m just about grab my purse when I hear the elevator doors open, so I rush to the foyer.
“Pierce! You came back! Please, let me expla — ”
But it’s not Pierce standing in the foyer. It’s Danny. Hulking, leather-clad, terrifying Danny, enforcer for the Cannizzo family, and my own personal lurking demon. I take two steps back, trying to see how close I am to the phone that calls down to the doorman, but it’s too far away for me to get to it before he could get to me.
“Danny… What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
He smirks. “Your doorman is taking a nap. He’ll be fine, but he might wake up with a headache. You’ve been avoiding us, Miss Blanchard. You left the country. My employer isn’t pleased.”
I take two more steps back, but Danny is following my every move, and I know he will be faster than me. I have no play; I’m like a rat trapped in a maze, and he knows it.
“I came back, didn’t I? You said I had a month. That month isn’t up for another few days. I will get you your money.”
Danny laughs, a big booming laugh that makes my stomach roll. “Forgive me, Arie, if I say that we don’t have a lot of faith in you one way or the other anymore. You dick us around for months, you leave New York, you’re obviously planning something with your fancy-ass boyfriend. Mr. Cannizzo is out of patience.”
I glance to my right and see a knife sitting in the sink. Can I get to it before he gets to me? Am I that fast?
“Pierce will be back any minute. He can give you your money tonight.”
Danny just shakes his head. “It’s not about the money anymore, Miss Blanchard. It’s about your character. We can’t count on you. And Mr. Cannizzo no longer believes you are of the kind of character he wants to deal with.”
The venom in his words hangs heavy in the air, and it scares me just enough that I don’t see how I have anything to lose. I bolt for the kitchen, thinking that all I have to do is get my fingers around the handle of the knife. If I can just do that, maybe I can get Danny off his feet, even if it’s only long enough to call the cops. But what I didn’t count on was that he would have a gun, and for a burly man, he is faster than me. So, when the barrel of his gun hits me on the back of the head, and the lights start to go out, I don’t have time to be angry at myself for being stupid, and thinking I could beat this man.