It's so simple, but he doesn't seem to believe me. How could he not believe the truth like that? But still, he seems burdened.
“We always had enough to eat,” I continue. “We all have places to live. Everybody has someone to love. Everybody's got children and togetherness and laughter. It's one big Family. How could it be wrong?”
“It's just not enough, Angel. There's so much more.”
“I think you gave us a beautiful life, Daddy,” I whisper. I wait until he looks at me so he knows how true this is.
“Thank you for saying that,” he finally sighs. “I hope you're right. Maybe you are. Maybe I just got a little lost along the way. Maybe I forgot to think about all the good things.”
“Yes, that sounds right,” I agree. “And you have to remember your blessings, remember? That was one of your sermons last month. Don’t forget to count your blessings.”
He yawns, stretching his arms back and letting the sound fill his mouth. It is sort of beautiful, watching him. He's like a lion or something. Some kind of majestic animal just doing something so simple like yawning.
“You know, you must be right,” he says again. “Maybe God brought us together so that I can understand that. That I’m surrounded by blessings, not just failures. If I count them, Angel, I have to start with you. You really are a blessing.”
I blush hotly. It feels so good when he says these nice things to me, I want to squirm like a puppy.
“And Brother Owen?”
His gaze darkens. I almost wish I hadn't said it.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, if God brought you and me together, didn't he bring Owen too? The three of us?”
He yawns again, this time covering his mouth with the back of his hand. He's making me very sleepy, and I heave myself off this bed and onto his bed, snuggling in next to him and burying my face against his shoulder. His arms automatically loop around me, gathering me close. This is where I feel safe.
“Maybe you are right, little Angel,” he admits. “Maybe that's the way it’s supposed to be.”
“I’m really sleepy,” I mumble. Suddenly I feel like I've been dropped from a height, like I could fall right into a coma. All the adrenaline and excitement has just drained out of me, just like that.
“Let's get under the covers,” he suggests. “Let's talk about this more tomorrow, okay?”
Chapter 80
Owen
I knock on the door until a light goes on somewhere. After a few minutes, I see Melissa's outline as she approaches.
She glares at me through the glass for long seconds before she opens the door just a crack.
“Melissa, let me in.”
“I can't imagine what you need me for anymore,” she hisses. “I'd say you boys got everything you wanted. Debt's paid off! I don't owe you anything!”
I think about it for half a second, then push the door open with the heel of my hand. I don't have time for this. There's only minutes left.
“Melissa, we need your help.”
She shuffles back toward the sofa and sits in the middle of it in the semi-darkness. She crosses her legs and bounces her foot up and down impatiently.
I almost want to laugh. I know this pose from long ago, back when she was all elbows and attitude. The junkie with a toddler who we took in, not even realizing all the trouble she was going to bring with her. Everything she would cost us. She's barely ever said thank you.… Just one of these women who thinks the world owes her something.
“What is it I'm supposed to help you with? I don’t have anything left to give you, as you well know.”
I take a couple of deep breaths. All the way over here, I planned what I was going to say. How I'd explain. But there's barely any time left.
“We want you to run the church from now on.”