“You can go another time—but only if Tracy invites you. Anyway, we’ve got plans for today. Conner’s offered to take us on the four-wheeler, out to where the Christmas trees grow. You’ll have a fun ride, and you can play with Bucket. He likes to go along, too.”
“Can Tracy come with us?”
“If she’s got time, and if she wants to.” He glanced at Tracy, who was in the front seat. She gave a subtle shake of her head. “But Tracy’s got other things to do. She’s one busy lady.” Had he said the wrong thing? He didn’t want Tracy to feel unwelcome; but Clara’s attachment was in danger of becoming a problem.
Tracy looked back at Clara and gave her a smile. “Thanks for inviting me, but I do have a lot to do. I have a stack of briefs to read for the court—that’s part of my job. I was also planning to make treats for my neighbors, do laundry, and work on my computer. Another time, all right? And don’t worry, I’ll invite you to play with the kittens soon. You did a great job of finding Ginger a home this morning.”
Thanks. Rush mouthed the word as he climbed into the driver’s seat. She returned a silent nod. He should have known Tracy would understand. That was just one more thing he liked about her.
They pulled up in front of Tracy’s house. “Thanks again for taking me to brunch, Rush,” she said. “Don’t bother getting out to help me. I’ll be fine.”
She’d opened the door and was about to climb out when Clara spoke up.
“Tracy, will you promise me something?” she asked.
“Maybe, if it’s a good promise. Tell me what it is.”
“Well . . .” Clara paused, taking a deep breath before she plunged ahead. “I know people will want the kittens. But will you save Snowflake for me? I know Daddy said I couldn’t keep him, but maybe something will change. Please, Tracy, promise you won’t give him away.” There were tears in her voice.
Tracy hesitated, but Rush knew she wouldn’t refuse. “All right, I promise for now,” she said. “But if you can’t keep him, he’s going to need a home. I’ll save him for you until Christmas. All right?”
“All right.” Clara’s sigh made it clear that she’d hoped for better terms. “But you promise for sure?”
“Yes, for sure.” Tracy climbed out of the Hummer. “Thanks, you two. Have a good time on the ranch.”
Rush drove, holding his tongue until they reached Main Street. There, the traffic forced him to slow down. Clara lowered the window partway so she could look at the holiday lights and hear the Christmas music that was coming over the loudspeakers. This morning the song was “Joy to the World.”
“Clara,” he said, “do you think that was fair, making Tracy promise to keep Snowflake for you?”
“She didn’t say no, Daddy.”
“She didn’t say no because she’s nice and she doesn’t want you to be sad. But you know that you don’t have any way to keep a kitten. What if Snowflake misses the chance for a good home because you won’t let Tracy give him away?”
“I know what you told me,” Clara said. “But sometimes, if you believe, special things can happen at Christmas. Annie called them miracles. I’m going to believe really hard. If I do, maybe a miracle will happen.”
Rush sighed, knowing better than to crush her childish faith. This holiday season, he needed his own miracle. But he’d long since stopped believing in such things. Anything special that happened would have to be up to him.
* * *
Tracy was about to take off her jacket and hang it up when she remembered that she needed to take Murphy outside. The old dog had raised his head when she came inside, but he was still in his bed.
She whistled softly. “Come on, Murphy, time to go out.”
With effort, Murphy hauled himself to his feet. Head down and tail drooping, he followed her out the kitchen door to the backyard. Was he moving more slowly than he had yesterday? Was he in pain? She watched as he finished his business and hobbled back to be let inside. When he hesitated at the stoop, she helped him by lifting his hindquarters.
His food bowl was in the kitchen. He took a few bites, then wandered back to his bed and closed his eyes. Tracy stroked the massive head, fighting tears. Rush had been right. Soon she would need to start thinking about the next step. But how would she know when it was time? Where would she find the strength to let her beloved dog go?
Her gaze wandered to the photo on the mantel. The memory of that day on the beach with Steve and Murphy replayed in her mind every time she looked at it—Steve laughing under his baseball cap, Murphy wet from the sea, tongue lolling, his face wearing that goofy dog grin. Murphy was no longer the same dog. But he was all she had from that wonderful day. When he was gone, there would be nothing left but the photograph and the memory.
And she would be alone.
There was still time, Tracy told herself. Maybe after Christmas, she’d be ready to face what had to be faced. For now, she would focus on keeping busy.
She gathered up the laundry, sorted it, and loaded the washer with darks. Glancing down into the box, she saw the kittens, curled together in a warm, sleepy ball. Rainbow was spending less time with them now, and they’d started to climb the sides of the box. Soon they’d be getting out, exploring the house, and eating their first solid food. Then it would be time for new homes. Ginger, the boldest of the four, would be a perfect cat for Francine. She could only hope the others would be just as lucky.
Reaching down, she tickled Snowflake’s silky white belly. He opened his eyes, yawned, and went back to sleep. He was the sweetest, calmest, and most affectionate of the kittens. No wonder Clara loved him best. And what a shame it was that there was no way for her to keep him.
The thought of Clara reminded Tracy of her promise. And the promise reminded her of something else