Somehow, there had to be a better option than the ultimatum Sonya had offered him—and it was up to him to find it.
With a groan, he turned over, punched his pillow, and willed himself to sleep. But why even try, when sleep was no escape from the nightmare that had begun with tonight’s phone call?
* * *
By 7:30, when Rush pulled up in the Hummer, Tracy had a fire going in the living room and breakfast warming on the stove. She greeted him at the door with a brief but passionate kiss. Only when she stepped back afterward did she notice the shadows of weariness that framed his eyes.
“You look exhausted,” she said. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” He sounded as weary as he looked. “Just didn’t get much sleep.”
“Is everything all right—did something happen with Clara?”
“Clara’s okay, but Bucket’s in trouble for ripping up her favorite toy.”
“Oh, no! Snowflake? Poor Clara! I can just imagine how upset she must’ve been. Come on in the kitchen. You’ll feel better after a good breakfast.”
Rush held up his medical bag. “Let’s take care of those vaccinations first. Rainbow’s going to need her shots, too. When that’s done, we can relax and talk.”
Relax and talk. It sounded innocent enough. So why, as she followed him down the hall to the laundry room, did Tracy sense a dark premonition hanging over her? Something was wrong. It was written in every worried line of Rush’s face.
She held Rainbow and the kittens, petting and soothing each one while Rush vaccinated them against rabies and distemper. He was good at his job. The work was done swiftly, with minimal discomfort to the furry patients.
“All done.” He cleaned up the used gloves and needles and put his bag next to the door, almost as if he thought he might be leaving in a hurry. Tracy’s worry deepened. Maybe she was only imagining things, but her instincts were shouting that something was seriously wrong.
Tracy seated him at the kitchen table, poured coffee, and dished up scrambled eggs, sausage, and hash browns before joining him. Rush made a show of eating, but mostly seemed to push the food around on his plate. After a few minutes of this, broken by awkward small talk, Tracy could stand it no longer.
“What’s wrong, Rush?” she demanded. “I can tell something’s bothering you. Please don’t keep it from me.”
He put down his fork, shook his head, and took a deep breath. Tracy could almost feel him struggling.
“It’s all right,” she said. “You can tell me anything.”
His jaw tightened before he spoke. “I got a phone call last night from Sonya, my ex-wife. Evidently Andre was cheating on her. They’re getting a divorce.”
Tracy felt a surge of relief. “I’m sorry, of course. But won’t that make things easier? With Andre gone, Clara can have her kitten. And surely, you’ll be able to see her more often, won’t you?”
Rush didn’t answer. It was as if the shadows had deepened around his eyes.
“Won’t you . . . ?” Tracy’s voice trailed off as the realization hit her like a thunderclap. “You’re going back to her, aren’t you?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that, Tracy.”
“You didn’t have to say it.” Numb with disbelief, she forced the words that would make this real. “I know how much your family means to you. Now you’ll have them back, with everything the way it was. You could even have more children, your own children.”
“Listen to me, Tracy.” He rose partway out of his chair, then sat down again. “Sonya has given me an ultimatum. Either I go back to her, or she won’t let me see Clara again. But I can’t just walk away from you. I love you.”
Tracy fought back tears, knowing that there could be just one reply. She had to say and do the right thing.
“I know you love me, Rush. But you can’t have this both ways. You can’t choose me over Clara and break her heart. You can’t choose me over your family. Just go. I’ll be all right.”
“Damn it, Tracy—” He rose to his feet.
“No, just go. Now, before things get ugly.” The tears spilled over. She wiped them furiously with her hand. “Just go!”
He walked to the front door, picked up his medical bag, then paused in the open doorway. “I love you, Tracy,” he said. “Give me a chance to work this out.”
“Don’t say another word. Just go.”