Then, I don’t know. I’m married to a man I don’t know who clearly has a life into which I can never fit.
I walk through the woods and find a hollow under a large tree. I just need to sit for a minute, to think and try to figure my way through everything that’s happening.
I’ve barely slept and the adrenaline is wearing off. My lids are heavy and I take off my pack and lean into it against the base of the tree. Reaching inside, I pull out a heavy sweatshirt and cover myself with it, fighting off the visions of Lachlan holding a baby, sitting on a porch somewhere, smiling back at me.
I shake my head, trying to clear the vision.
As I drift off to sleep, I hear my father’s voice telling me when I left to go find my way in the world that I’d be sorry. That I’d see why they kept me from the world the way they did.
A hard slumber takes me and I’m relieved. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know where to go. Tomorrow morning, I will find a phone. I will call the shared phone in the compound where I last saw my parents and beg for them to come and save me.
They were right. I was wrong.
My chest is tight. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I fall asleep. My heart shatters in my chest and each piece has a part of Lachlan reflecting back.
I’M DREAMING.
It’s Lachlan’s voice.
“Teah.” His hands run behind my neck, warm and safe. “Baby, don’t ever run from me. I said I would fix this and I will.”
My eyes flutter open and he’s there. A mixture of ecstatic relief and deep sorrow cover me.
I see him turn his head, dark shadow across one side lending him an air of mystery. The sun is giving in behind the tree line and the odd warmth of the day is falling. “Hey!” He shouts. “She’s here.” Then his eyes meet mine. “I’ve got you, Teah.”
“I don’t even know you. I don’t know what those people want, but I can’t live like that. If that’s your life, I can’t be a part. I just can’t.”
“You’re my life, Teah. That…” He motions back toward the cabin. “That’s nothing to me. I should have told you, but I wanted us to be us. I didn’t want what the world sees me as to be part of something amazing. I’ll fix this. I don’t need any of that. I just need you.”
“Who are you?” I ask, unsure any answer will wash away the doubts that feel like they are cutting into all the soft parts of me I’d already given to him.
“Lachlan Marcus.”
“I know your name.” I snap back.
“Well, Lachlan Marcus is a product. I started off in the music business. Then, I did some movies. Started some companies. I was on the cover of Time Magazine two years ago. But yesterday morning, before I met you, I walked away from it all. I knew I couldn’t live that life anymore. I bought that bus ticket and fate took it from there. Teah, baby, please. Whatever I need to do to make us work, that’s what I’ll do. I can’t promise I can do it today, but I will do it. I’ve got thousands of people that count on me for things, I can’t leave them all hanging, but if you’ll just trust me. Give me some time. I will make our life the life we want. Please baby, you are my life now. You can’t tell me what we have isn’t real. It’s crazy, I get that part. But it’s real.”
I stare at his face. There’s a desperate sadness in his eyes and the conflict tangled inside of me rages.
“I don’t know,” I say, honestly. “There are so many things we don’t know about each other. Not just about you, but about me, too. Lock, I haven’t told you the whole story about me. About my family. Things that the people we were with were planning to do…not my parents, but—”
“I hope that one day you’ll be able to tell me, that you’ll feel safe enough to share whatever burden you’re carrying, but if that day never comes, I won’t care.” He takes a deep breath, crouching down just as some other men come into view. “I love you. I’ll always love you.”
The other men surround us both, talking into walkie-talkies, reporting that they’ve found the target, to bring the vehicles right away. But I don’t care about any of that.
“Kiss me.” I surprise myself at the words. “Close your eyes and kiss me. Then tell me what you see, and I’ll tell you.”
He pauses, tips his head to the side, then leans in. Our lips come together, his tongue gliding along my bottom lip before sinking into my mouth, his hands on the sides of my head, holding me steady.