“That’ll be great.” Tess nodded. “So, is everybody good?”
“Right as rain.” Val’s lack of enthusiasm was clear.
Shane spoke up. “You deserve a round of applause for this great meal, Val. Come on, everybody, show some appreciation.” He began to clap. The others at the table joined in until Val waved them into silence.
“Fiddle-dee-dee. All in a day’s work,” she said in a perfect Scarlett O’Hara imitation. “But I’ll be damned if I’m doing cleanup.”
Picking up her plate of cake and a fork, she walked out the front door and closed it behind her.
Half an hour later, with the table cleared and the dishwasher humming, Lexie headed for the porch to join her sister. Ruben, Aaron, and the boys had left. Tess was on her computer, and Shane was doing his nightly workout on Jack’s old exercise machines. Lexie heard the familiar clink of the weights when she passed his closed door. The sound brought back bittersweet memories of her brother—even as it stirred images of the man who had shut her out of his intimate life.
Now that he was settling in, it appeared that Shane might have found a home here. But the barrier of polite distance between them remained the same, with no sign that it would ever change. Maybe she should be the one to leave. Why not? There was nothing to stop her. Certainly Shane wouldn’t care.
Walking out onto the porch, she found Val in the lounge chair with the dogs curled at her feet. The night was warm and sultry. Insects buzzed around the porch light.
Lexie sank into a chair with a long sigh.
“What is it, girl?” Val asked. “Man problems? You can talk to me. I’m an expert.”
“No . . . it’s just, maybe I’m being selfish. I wanted things to work out with Shane. But nothing’s changed. I know you told me to be patient, but he treats me like a sister, and I’m getting tired of it. Maybe I should just leave—go back to college, or move to Tucson and get a job.”
“How can you even think like that?” Val asked. “This is your home. The family needs you. I never told you this, but the main reason Tess offered Shane a job was to keep you here. She was afraid that you’d go off with him, and she’d end up losing you. Hiring him was Callie’s idea, and Tess agreed to it—that’s what Tess told me. I’m not sorry about that—he’s settled in and become a real asset to the ranch. But the whole idea behind this arrangement was to make you happy.”
“Thanks a lot.” Lexie’s words dripped sarcasm. “Maybe Tess should just sell the place—bulls and all. Brock Tolman would buy it in a heartbeat. There’s got to be more to life than shoveling manure and hauling bulls and pinching every penny.”
Val rested a hand on Lexie’s shoulder. “Give it time. I know I’ve said it before, but Shane wants the best for you—and until the best is what he can offer, he won’t ask you to settle for less.”
Lexie gazed into the darkness, saying nothing. Maybe leaving wouldn’t be such a bad idea. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made.
“There’s something else I need to talk to you about,” Val said. “Something that’s got me worried—about you.”
“Go on.”
“It’s just this—” Val broke off as the screen door creaked open and Tess stepped out onto the porch.
“Mind if I join you?” she asked. “It’s too quiet in the house.”
“Sure. Pull up a chair.” Val flashed Lexie a warning glance. Evidently, whatever she’d been about to say would have to wait.
* * *
For the past few mornings, Shane had been waking up with an erection. Piss proud—that was the old-fashioned term for it. It had little or nothing to do with arousal, and it went away when he relieved himself. The doctors had said it might happen, and that he should take it as an encouraging sign—a sign that physically, at least, everything was connected and working.
Not that he felt confident enough to make love. Lexie was the one woman he wanted. But his pride had alienated her; and even if she were to come to him in the night, the fear of failure would leave him humiliated. Even if he could function, why should she want him when she could have a man—any man she wanted—whose body was whole and unbroken?
Why should she love a cripple? Shane was doing his best to get used to the ugly word, to accept it as truth.
As he dressed, he willed himself to sweep the negative thoughts aside and focus on the day ahead. This would be the boys’ last full day at the ranch. Tess had planned a special treat for them.
The two-year-old bulls were ready to face their first test with the bucking dummy—a small, weighted metal box attached to a strap with a remote-controlled release.
The ones that showed promise would begin a long period of training, with increasing weights, followed, finally, by a human rider. They’d be trained in chute behavior, loading and transport; and they’d be acclimated to the lights and noise of the arena before they were ready to compete. Those bulls that weren’t inclined to buck would be auctioned off.
Today, with plenty of help, the two boys would be working with the young bulls. They’d be taught how to attach the dummy in the chute by dropping the strap down one side, hooking it from the other side, drawing it up and around the bull, and fastening it to fit. Shane and Tess would coach them on what to look for in a good bucker and how to pick the best. The boys would also be herding the bulls in and out o
f the chute. This important job would be a reward for a summer of feeding, watering, shoveling, and mending fences.
The bucking corral was attached by a gate to a paddock beyond the complex of sheds and pens. The distance wasn’t far, but the ground was too rough and uneven for Shane’s wheelchair. Lexie would be taking him in the ATV, which she would park next to the chutes, where Shane could coach the boys.