Dad flinched, only to come back with a narrow-eyed look. “Don’t be dramatic. You’re not a child, Blake. You’re almost forty years old. Surely you can handle livin’ on your own.”
Like that was the fucking issue.
“And we’re not kicking you out,” he added vehemently. “You’re still part of this family. I expect you home every holiday, just like I do with the others, but it’ll be—”
“Easier. Yeah. I got that.” I was done. I had maybe ten minutes before all the feelings reached the surface, and I wanted to be out of here by then. “Fuck this—give me ten minutes and I’ll be gone.”
He didn’t object.
Two
I made it to my brother’s place in Tennessee the next day.
David’s wife was out of town with four of their eight kids, leaving behind the terrifying toddler twins and the two eldest, who were thankfully calmer. Plus, they liked me the most.
My brother and I sat on the porch steps and drank beer as the sun dipped lower and lower over the green hills.
Rosie sat at his feet, enjoying the attention he was giving her. My prim and proper brother wore a fitted white pullover from some high-end brand, and the fact that Rosie was an animal saved her from complaints about shedding. His sleeve had plenty of little black hairs stuck to the fabric already, but animals were sacred to him. As they should be, I reckoned, considering he was a veterinarian.
Meanwhile, I had Oppy and Percy, my Yorkshire terrier mutts, jumping around on the front lawn. They weren’t the most active pets, but after a day in the car—after a night in a shitty motel—they reveled in their freedom.
“Dad!” Lee-lee hollered from inside the house. “Can I go out with Mandy after I give the twins their bath?”
David glanced over his shoulder and spotted his daughter through the open kitchen window. “You’ll be home by ten, deal?”
“Did you say eleven?” she asked hopefully.
I chuckled.
“Fine, but don’t tell your mama,” David responded, amused.
Lee-lee whooped in triumph, and I was surprised my brother agreed. It wasn’t like him.
“Where did that come from?” I asked.
David smiled and took a swig of his beer. “I’m trying to relax.”
I raised my brows.
He laughed quietly and scratched Rosie behind her ears. “After eighteen years of being called impossible, difficult, uptight, and rigid by my children—and Mel—I suppose I reached my limit.”
Good for him. Hell, good for his entire family.
“Dang. I guess Soph and I were wrong. You do listen.” It just took him eighteen years.
David grinned.
The humor faded eventually, and he continued. “So are our parents. Wrong, I mean. I can’t believe they did this to you.” He shook his head. “And if they think we will bring our children to celebrate Christmas with them in a few months, they’re sorely mistaken.”
I appreciated his support; in fact, I’d always had it on this topic. Sophia’s too. But I didn’t want them to punish the kids for it. Our folks were still amazing grandparents, which I reminded David of.
“I know,” he replied. “But it’s way too soon. There have to be some consequences. That’s not my Christianity. We say our prayers in this house too, and I don’t want my kids to think God doesn’t love all his children.”
I’d rather steer clear of that entire subject. My relationship with God was complicated enough as it was.
“Have you told Soph yet?” he asked.
I shook my head and finished my beer. “I haven’t talked to her in weeks.”
I was too embarrassed.
David seemed to know why. “Could it be because you left Washington without a word?”
Dammit.
“It could,” I admitted begrudgingly. “I fucked up as usual. Shit got too real, and I split.”
“What exactly got too real?” he asked, confused.
I didn’t know where to begin, because that was mostly about Sebastian. I still saw him in my dreams every fucking night, but at least I was able to think his name without feeling like anxiety-riddled garbage now. That was something.
“I met someone there,” I confessed, and I reached for another beer from the six-pack. “I don’t know what the fuck he did to me, but I had to get away. He made me feel shit. Like, physically—” I gestured to my chest. “I swear to God, he gave me chest pains. And my stomach felt like it did in high school before a game. At the same time, I couldn’t stop going over to his place. I was obsessed—or possessed. Both fit.” I shook my head. “I didn’t know what people meant when they bitched about toxic relationships until that guy.”
David squinted at me and looked as if he was trying not to laugh. “You think that’s the definition of a toxic relationship?”
“Well, yeah. It’s when you go back to someone who hurts you.”
“Oh my Lord, Blake.” He grinned at me, the fucker. “This is the very reason Melissa and I want our children’s teachers to go beyond sexual health in school. Anyone can roll a condom onto a banana, but very few understand love.”