Moreover, it’d gotten worse. I was still so ridiculously drawn to him. His insults bit me harder. It’d hurt to see him talking to that other dude yesterday, ’cause I’d been able to feel him slipping through my fingers, and he hadn’t even been mine to begin with. The power and ability to evoke that kind of jealousy and other shitty feelings remained in his grasp, and that was terrifying. I didn’t want him to have that control.
Or, if I searched deep down and was honest with myself, I did want him to possess that ability, but I wanted it to go both ways. And other dudes could fuck all the way off. So basically, I wanted my harmful drug all to myself, kinda like what we’d shared a few months ago, only without the expiration date this time.
What might one call that?
“Cat got your tongue?” he asked.
I shook my head and drummed my fingers along my knee. “Just tryin’ to remember… I was drunk. I don’t know.”
He didn’t buy it.
Tiger Lily had grown a lot since I’d last seen her. The kitten was now bigger than Oppy and Percy, and she and Echo were curious to meet the boys. Mischa oversaw the whole exchange but didn’t get involved.
“It’s good to see you again too, buddy.” I squatted down on the living room floor and gave Mischa some attention. He stretched his neck and looked awfully pleased as I scratched him. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”
He huffed and licked my cheek.
In the meantime, Sebastian messed around in the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
“I’ll give you all the cuddles later,” I promised. “I’m just gonna help your daddy.”
“Daddy doesn’t need help,” Sebastian said from the kitchen.
“Daddy might need professional help,” I whispered to Mischa.
Sebastian was setting up an impressive buffet on the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room, so I assumed we’d grab our food there and then… Well, he didn’t have a dining area indoors, not counting the three stools at the bar.
“We’re not eating on the porch, are we?”
He furrowed his brow. “Why would we do that? We’ll sit there.” He nodded at the couch and chairs in front of his tiny TV.
“You never know. You Washington folk seem impervious to the cold.”
“True, we’re not weaklings like you Southerners.”
I had to laugh at that. “So you’re saying the bitching you did about the mediocre heat this summer was what, you flexin’ your muscles?”
He set down a giant jar of Nutella on the bar with a bit too much force. “How about we don’t talk about this summer at all anymore? It happened, it’s over, let’s move on.”
It was a cold shower at the same time as it triggered a spark of anger, because I was fed up. “You’re never gonna let this go, are you?” I was unable to mask that I was ticked off. “You don’t wanna talk shit out—you just wanna stick to your assumptions and—”
“There’s nothing to talk about!” he snapped. “There’s no reason to either. You’re leaving soon anyway, aren’t you? Their house will be done before next summer’s over.”
“Those are your fuckin’ assumptions, Sebastian!” I yelled, getting heated way too fast. “You don’t know a goddamn thing, because you don’t wanna have that conversation with me!”
“There’s no point!” he shouted back. “You say one thing and do another—I have no reason to hear you out!”
Suddenly, the dogs started barking. Or Echo and Mischa. They ran for the door, and a beat later, I heard the sound of car doors closing. Fuck. They were here. It was Teddy’s birthday.
Sebastian and I exchanged a quick, impatient look. He was probably done. I wasn’t. But either way, we had to put our shit on hold and plaster grins on our faces for the birthday boy.
This wasn’t over, though. Sebastian could fucking dream. Despite all the insecurities he’d brought out in me, last night had made me bolder. He hadn’t been able to resist me either. Physically, we still had something.
I was ready to play dirty.
I was the one who’d fucked up initially. So while I hoped he eventually came around to hear me out properly, it was my job to get him there. No more of this “the ball’s in his court.” For once in my fucking life, I wasn’t gonna quit.
Teddy barged in, and it took me a beat to realize what I was looking at, my mind still stuck on Sebastian. But I knew those colors. Blue and gold. Sweet Jesus.
“Uncle Blake, you’re already here!” he exclaimed, darting forward.
He crashed into me, and I let out a surprised laugh as I processed his Halloween costume. The kid was me. He was decked out in full football gear and even wore my jersey number from my high school glory days.
Soph must’ve ordered it straight from home. The uniform had received a couple upgrades since we were in high school. Back in the day, the top was dark blue and the pants were gold. These days, the uniform was all blue and had gold stripes along the sides.