My parents, of course, didn't know what to do with me, so they sent me away because that's what they do best. They don't know how to deal with me. They never have and that's why I got into riding in the first place, because it was an activity that kept me occupied.
Once I fell in love with it, it was a pretty good way to keep me busy. It's not like I minded spending every waking hour at the stables. And as I got older and better, it just got easier for all of us. As an only child with parents who were lawyers, I was never a priority.
"Liv," Aunt Louisa calls. "Do you want bacon and eggs too?" She's already asking before I've even reached the bottom stairs of their beautiful ranch home. It's a modest place, but it feels cozy and comfortable. Their three children are all grown, and I know they're itching for grandchildren. My cousin Clara is the same age as me, and she just left for her sophomore year of college a few weeks ago. They're in this short in-between stage that I don't think will last very long, where there aren't any grandbabies yet. And so Uncle John and Aunt Louisa are empty nesters for the first time in their lives. All that to say, my aunt is very good at doting on me.
"I'd love bacon and eggs," I say, "but you've been cooking all morning for the cowboys. You don't need to cook for me now too."
She shrugs. "I don't mind, I cooked for them hours ago." She glances over at the clock on the microwave. It's 10 AM. "You like to sleep in, huh?"
"I know," I say. "You probably think I'm such a lazy bum."
"I didn't say that."
"But you're thinking it," I say, groaning as I take the coffee she's offered. "You're really good at taking care of people," I tell her. "No wonder all these cowboys here are so happy."
She laughs. "It's my job to take care of the boys who work here, and I have always liked having people around. That's why I liked the idea when my sister called me up and said you needed a place to stay for a bit to recharge your batteries. I thought it'd been a long time since you'd stayed here. It’s been four or five years, I think, since that one summer you were in high school."
"The summer before I started high school," I tell her. "I think Clara and I were both going into ninth grade," I say, remembering. Clara was obsessed with the idea of getting boyfriends that summer, and we talked Aunt Louisa into letting us ride bikes downtown to a grocery store where we would buy candy bars and popsicles every day, hoping to get someone’s attention, anyone's attention.
I tell my aunt the story now and she laughs. "Oh, Clara was always boy crazy, but if I remember correctly, you loved coming because you would ride the horses."
“By the end of that summer, Clara did have a boyfriend – Mark Tottle, remember him? And she forgot all about me,” I say, laughing.
"Did you mind?" Aunt Louisa asks.
I shake my head. “No, to be honest, I didn't mind at all. Clara was happy with Mark, and I was smitten too. I had already fallen hard for horses at that point, and boys didn't have a chance.”
Aunt Louisa dishes up eggs and bacon and hands a plate to me across the counter. I sit on a bar stool and eat while she butters a slice of toast and takes a bite for herself.
"So you haven't dated anybody seriously?" she asks.
I laugh. "Are we really having this conversation?"
She shrugs. "Oh, I don't know. You don't need to talk to me about it. I was just wondering, but I don't mean to pry. You're an adult. You can make your own decisions. You're nineteen."
“I haven't dated anybody ever, not like that.”
“What do you mean not like that? Not like popsicles and candy bars outside the grocery store?" Aunt Louisa asks with a laugh.
"Not like that and not like anything else either.” I shrug. “There has never been time to fall in love.”
“Clara has a new boyfriend, Lukas," Aunt Louisa says, "at the college. She's been dating him for about four weeks now, but I don't think it's serious. And her older brothers, you know, Billy and Todd, they're both married now. I'm counting down the days for grandbabies."
I smile. “I was just thinking that when I was getting dressed this morning.”
“Were you? I can't wait to be a grandma.”
"I want to have babies one day too," I tell her. “Being an only child was lonely. I picture myself having a family like you and Uncle John. A full house, filled with noise and laughter.”