“Just wait.” Now I’m biting my thumb, because I need to let this out somehow. “He will be back in a minute.”
In this moment, my brain goes back to everything that I should have done differently, all the ways this could have been avoided. I just didn’t want to face an ultimatum, I didn’t want to have to pick. I can clearly see now that was stupid and dangerous. Dangerous for Sadie and her feelings, not myself. I don’t mind putting myself in danger because I’m the one taking the risk, but I never wanted to hurt my best friend. Ever.
“She isn’t hurt… I just don’t know where she is, that’s all, which is understandable considering the situation. She needs a minute to cool down, and doesn’t want to be bothered.”
It doesn’t make any difference, right now, my words do nothing to me. It’s hard to give myself a pep talk when there is a devil whispering in my ear that the worst has happened and that I deserve it. This is my fault. It was my responsibility to tell my best friend the truth and I didn’t.
Some of Sadie’s words spin through my mind, the last things that she said to us before she slammed the door, and it hurts even more. I feel like I fucked everything up, and I don’t deserve either one of them in my life, Sadie or Garrett.
“How long have the two of you been betraying me? How long has my whole fucking life been a lie?”
I slide my eyes closed so the tears can run down my cheeks. How could I have been so happy earlier? How could I have not known that the world was about to come crashing down around me and that it’d be all my fault?
“At least I know that I can trust him. He hasn’t ever stabbed me in the back. You’re the worst person ever.” I remember the last words from Sadie’s mouth.
I am… I am the worst person ever. How did I let this happen?
I ruined us. I lost the best friend I’ve ever had in my life. Sadie has always been the best friend that I ever could have asked for, and now she hates me. Garrett might think she will sober up in the morning and that everything will be okay but I’m not convinced. Not after all of this.
No, this is a sign. No more friendship, no more college roommates, no more future with her. I always thought that me and Garrett could be the thing to tear the friendship apart, but I never believed that it would actually happen. I assumed that we were stronger than that… I was hoping that when it finally came out, she would be mad for a second, then playfully slap me and say “Damnit Sadie, why didn’t you tell me right away? We could be sister in laws, planning the wedding this whole time!”
Is that Garrett? I bolt upright, trying to see, but it’s dark and the flashing lights are making it a challenge. There’s a figure, but quite a few people have gotten out of their cars now, to find out more, so I don’t want to get my hopes up in case he’s still getting information or yelling at people to get out of our way. I know that Garrett thinks our mission to find his sister is the most important thing in the world, and while I agree, I don’t know who else will see it that way. In fact, I really hope that he isn’t in the middle of a fight right now, that would be awful…
“It is him.” Oh my God, my heart leaps in my chest. Maybe even into my throat. “Oh God.” He doesn’t look good. He looks sick actually, but that could just be from the situation. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I just want to wait and see what he knows when he gets here.
But Garrett doesn’t make it to me. He stumbles and falls into a heap on the ground. For a second I think that he’s tripped, but as I rise as much as possible inside of a car, I can see that this is more than that. He hasn’t fallen, he’s collapsed into sobs. He’s crying on the ground and I don’t know what is going on.
Go to him. My brain is screaming at me, but my body isn’t doing anything. I need to figure out what’s going on. Go to him, he needs you…
Oh God, all of a sudden, things start to click. The only thing that would make Garrett cry right now would be something to do with Sadie. Something bad. Something… something really bad. Bad enough make Garrett collapse.
All the images that I have been pushing out of my mind’s eye flood me painfully. I see flashes of my best friend going through the worst possible things that could happen to a person. Blood, violence, an attack… the sort of thing that a person wouldn’t make it out alive. I need to know what’s happening, now.