“It’s been nice to see your mom,” she tells me thickly. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“It’s been good for Mom, I can tell.” I smile back. “For me as well. It’s been nice to hang out in a less… stressful and tragic situation.”
Wow, that was honest. I wasn’t expecting those words to come out of my mouth. But they are the truth, and I don’t know when me and Jill will find ourselves in an honest place again.
“Yeah,” she laughs. “I think that it’s best for me to keep away from you. I don’t quite know how cordial is supposed to look. It isn’t exactly friendship, but it isn’t ignoring each other either…and, working together makes It tough”
“But ignoring is easier because then we don’t need to be all weird,” I agree. “I know what you mean.”
“Exactly… but maybe we should try and change that. Friendship instead?”
I agree with Jill. At the moment Mom comes back in to the room with drinks for us all. We toast to Sadie and roll in to talking about happy memories. The whole time, I find myself looking at Jill, thinking about what could have been… what still could be…
Mom sees it, I know she does, but she seems happy. I suppose since I am her only child left, she wants me to find happiness, and if that is with my first love, so be it.
Chapter 19 – Jill
My head is spinning. It’s been an emotional night for sure, but it turned out even better than I ever could have expected. Seeing Annette was amazing and listening to her opinions about the past and future was cathartic. She has such a good way of looking at things. I admire her so much, especially after everything she’s been through, to remain positive and understanding when you know she has struggled? Amazing.
“This is my apartment,” Garrett tells me as we walk together back home. “But I can walk you back to your dad’s if you want. I don’t like you walking back by yourself. It isn’t always safe.”
I think about the prospect of my father peering through the window and seeing me with Garrett in tow after telling him that I was going out with friends, and I know that’s not a good idea. My dad will have questions that I’m not ready to answer, mostly because I don’t know what is going on myself.
“Oh, thank you, but I will be okay.” I tilt my head upwards and smile at him. “It isn’t far.”
A dark shadow crosses his face and for a second, I feel nothing but guilt. If he’s thinking about Sadie walking home alone that night and getting struck by that driver, maybe I should have agreed…
“You could always come in for a night cap, if you want?” he surprises me. I thought that he was about to insist on walking me home, but now he wants me to come in to his place. “Take a look around.”
I can’t help being curious. I have seen a little about how Garrett lived his life over the last few years on social media, but I want to know who the boy who was the love of my life, grew up to be.
“Sure.” I beam from ear to ear. “I would love to see your bachelor pad.”
“Pfft, I don’t know if it could be called a bachelor pad,” he teases. “But sure, let’s take a look.”
There are a few sets of thin stairs on the way up to his apartment, so I walk behind him, trying not to stare at his ass as he walks in front of me, but I have to admit that it’s really hard. With the booze circling around in my system and thoughts of what we could have been, my eyes drink in his adult form. He is gorgeous. I mean, he always was but now he’s mind blowing. A nice ass, muscular shoulders, plus the same sexy face as before. It’s easy for me to see why I fell for him.
I try to breathe a little easier once we are inside Garrett’s apartment, I take a look around, but I realize quickly that this maybe was a bad idea. With booze coursing through me, I have no self-control and I can feel myself wanting more from him. I shouldn’t take the drink I am offered, because I’m slipping and I know it, but I can’t help myself around him.
“Are you okay?” Garrett asks me in a gravelly lust filled voice. His body language is like a magnet, pulling me towards him.
“Yes,” I rasp back as my hand acts of its own accord and reaches out to touch his cheek. “I think so.”
I already know that he’s going to kiss me before he starts edging those beautiful lips towards me. The anticipation is building, yet it’s still a shock when his lips finally connect with mine.