When my hair’s perfect, I practice my polite smile into the mirror.
They’ll fall in love with you, Scarlet promised. It’s a pity how much that made me feel cherished. Just the thought of strangers loving me was enough to sway me into taking the job.
I stop my thoughts in their tracks, clicking off the curling iron. Positive thoughts only. I’m not going to think of my ex or the hard climb ahead of me, or the possibility I might fail out of this new job.
Nope. I’m going to succeed. I can’t keep running back to my mom’s house every time life gets hard. I need to build my own safety net, and it starts with this new job. It’s natural to be nervous about it. The stakes are high. Life keeps coming no matter what I do, so I just need to keep going. Day in and day out. All I have to do is survive.
I bypass the basket of laundry and stride to my closet. There’s one dress hanging inside, one that Scarlet helped me pick out. Staring at the pile of boxes, I roll my eyes. I know, I know. I need to unpack. At the top of my to-do list is the need to put away my clothes and make this place into a real home, instead of a temporary stopping place. This is my home. This is my new home, and my new life, and I’m going to be fine.
With the satin slipping through my fingers, I take in the deep red. The dress is a dark, dark red. Shivers run up and down my arms at the feeling of the fabric. This dress is my uniform for the evening.
It makes me feel like a different woman. I turn in front of the mirror, letting the cloth drape down my body. It makes my dark hair stand out, and I get a thrill of pride that I managed to make myself look like this. Sexy and mysterious and in control.
They’ll never know how scared I am, deep down. No one will ever know. Because I’ll put on a smile that goes with this dress. That reminds me of the lipstick. Scarlet inspired me to get it. She told me red is a confident color. Perched atop the worn wood of my dresser is a little striped bag from Sephora. A spray of tissue paper pokes out of the top and nestled inside is my new lipstick.
I take it back to the bathroom mirror and apply it.
The shade of the lipstick matches the dress perfectly. That’s the last piece of my uniform and I did it exactly right. It’s hard to match colors so exact, so the forty-five minutes I spent in the store going back and forth between different shades is paying off. I stare at my own face in the mirror until I look like a stranger. A beautiful stranger who could be anyone she wants to be.
My phone vibrates on the bedside table out in the bedroom, and I go back out to see who messaged me.
* * *
Scarlet: How is everything going? Just checking in …
* * *
Braelynn: I’m all ready. Heading out soon!
* * *
I can’t help the feelings that come over me. It’s comforting to have someone who’s concerned about me like Scarlet is. Gratitude is overwhelming. We’ve known each other for years, but only recently got as close as we are. Since everything started breaking down with Travis, she’s really been there for me when I needed it.
* * *
Braelynn: See you soon.
* * *
One last stop at the mirror. I’ve made myself as perfect as I could for this. Perfect red dress. Perfect lipstick. It’s the lipstick, most of all, that gives me courage. I’ll fake it ’til I make it. I’ll fake it until every dark thing that’s ever happened to me is far away in the rearview mirror. I’ll fake it until there’s more happiness than pain in my life.
Blinking away every insecurity, I focus on the comic relief: I’ll fake it until I get that new set of sheets.
With a roll of my eyes and a huff of a laugh, I focus on that one small goal to send me on my way. It’ll feel good to have those new sheets, and better to sleep through the night without worrying.
The woman in the mirror is who I’ll be when that happens. No more Braelynn who cried all the way home to her mother’s house. No more Braelynn who doesn’t want to face the day and lets her lover treat her like a doormat.
No more Braelynn who’s so afraid she can’t even sleep at night.
Declan
The office door shuts with a quiet thud and I lock it as I always do. The keys clink as I test the lock.