Throughout Gloria's speech, Carson had watched her, listened intently. Now, he nodded, wetting his lips to reply. "I'll do that.... You know, I always thought of myself as pretty damned smart... but you're smarter. Thanks for the perspective.... Sabrina's lucky to have you for a mother...." He inclined his head, his expression pensive. "You're right about my knowing a lot about the not-having...."
A quizzical, shoot-from-the-hip look intensified his gaze, and Gloria sensed that something personal was coming. She just wasn't quite sure what.
She found out.
"While we're on this subject... let me ask you something," Carson stated bluntly. "I know how you felt at the time you were looking for a sperm donor.... You wanted to live life on your own terms... unattached and independent.... Do you feel the same way now?... When all is said and done, was the single life all it was cracked up to be?"
An ironic question, one that had been the cause of much introspection for Gloria these past few days. Still, it never occurred to her that Carson Brooks had gone down this mental path. About the idea of having a son or daughter, yes, but not about having a life-partner.
"Are you going to answer?" he pressed. "Or are you trying to find a tactful way to say it's none of my damned business?"
"Actually, I was thinking it's an odd question coming from you."
"Why? Because I went the unmarried and successful route, too?"
"No, because that route seems to suit you now as well as it did then. It never occurred to me that you contemplated the idea that any other choice existed."
"You're right. I didn't. Not until fifty crept up on me.... With it came thoughts that I might have a kid... and the rest just followed suit." He paused to catch his breath. "Talk about alone... You, at least, had Sabrina.... I had my work, my company, women when I had the time or inclination... and Dylan, who's like a son to me. But I got him in his teens. I didn't raise him.... So, I got to thinking..." Another pause, as he regathered his strength. "You know what? I'll answer my own question first. No, the single life's not all it's cracked up to be.... You grow older, smarter, and more alone.... At least I did. I have someone in my life now. Susan Lane. You'll like her. She's great.... But it's not the same as building something from the ground up.... We've got no history, no memories to pass on to children... grandchildren. If you ask me, I was a stupid fool.... What about you?"
Gloria sighed, thinking how funny life was. What a shame that you couldn't be born old and grow young.
"Even twenty-eight years ago, my situation was a little different from yours," she responded frankly. "And not only because I had Sabrina soon after, although I thank God that I did. I also had my parents, my roots, and, as a result, some understanding of what it meant to be tied to others. Remember, too, Carson, that going into the donor insemination, I was thirty-three to your twenty-two. I'd been an adult a whole lot longer than you. I knew that being single was a second-rate formula for happiness. I'd tried to find my soul mate—repeatedly. It just didn't happen. Sure, that would have been the better way to go. Unfortunately, it never turned out to be my way. So, no, I don't think living life alone is something to aspire to. But it's something I'd made peace with by the time I sought a sperm donor. If the opportunity had presented itself, I would much preferred to have found my other half, made a life with him, and had children together."
"Does that mean you'd want that for Sabrina?"
Why did Gloria have the distinct feeling she was being led somewhere in particular?
"Are you asking me if I want Sabrina to stop being such a damned workaholic and open up that wonderful heart of hers? If so, the answer's yes. Nothing would make me happier than if the perfect man for Sabrina existed out there somewhere, and that she'd find him—that they'd find each other. I may be a realist, but I'm not without dreams."
"Good." Carson settled back on the bed, linking his fingers on his chest and, despite his pain and exhaustion, looking like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary. "Because I feel... the same way."
Gloria eyed him for a minute. "And?"
"And what?"
"And why did you bring this up?"
A shrug. "Just curious." He tilted his head slightly in her direction. "By the way, when Dylan flew to Manchester... and dropped that bomb you were referring to, did you
get to meet him?"
"No. I didn't."
"Too bad... But you will... And when you do, keep a close watch... He's going to factor into your life in a big way.... He already does in mine.... But it's going to get bigger.... Ironic..." Carson's eyelids drooped as if he were fighting sleep.
Swiftly, Gloria glanced at her watch. The nurse would be tossing her out any minute. But she wasn't leaving... not yet. Not until they stopped dancing around the obvious.
"Carson, are you playing matchmaker?" she demanded.
One eyelid cracked open. "Nope... Just being observant... No matchmaker necessary... check out the sparks and see for yourself." A smug grin tugged at his lips. "Grandchildren might be in the cards, after all."
9:35 A.M.
Ruisseau Fragrance Corporation
The ten department heads sat rigidly around the conference room table—and around Sabrina.
As she settled herself in her chair, Sabrina assessed the group, looking around the table, one-by-one, and putting names to the faces.