My Heart's Desire (Barrett 1)

She waited a moment before answering. “I fear that I have deluded myself into thinking my father’s reaction would be favorable. In truth he will be outraged by my arrival.”

“Are you regretting your decision to come to York?”

She shook her head vehemently. “No. Despite my father’s objections I am glad I came. It was something I had to do.” She smiled up at him. “Besides, it gave me the opportunity to meet all of you. La Belle’s crew has become very important to me. Especially you.”

Smitty gave her a knowing look. “And the captain as well?”

She shrugged. “Perhaps.”

He chuckled. “Are you being entirely honest with yourself, my lady?”

“Does it matter, Smitty?” She met his gaze directly. “Regardless of any feelings I might or might not have for Captain Barrett, he must go his way and I must go mine.”

“Are you so certain?”

She gave a brief nod. “Yes. There are some social boundaries that even I would not dare cross.”

“What if you were to fall in love? Would that not influence your future?” he persisted.

She sighed deeply. “I cannot answer that. Perhaps I am a coward, after all, or perhaps I am just not strong enough to meet such a challenge. Let us hope that when I fall in love it will be with an acceptable man.”

“Acceptable to your family?”

She nodded again. “I do not care what the ton thinks of me, but the need for my family’s acceptance, if not their approval, is too deeply ingrained for me to abandon.”

“I suppose that the idea of a young lady spending her first Season running about a merchant ship clothed in a man’s shirt and breeches is not their notion of how a noblewoman should spend her leisure time.” His eyes twinkled.

Smitty’s attempt at humor accomplished what he intended. His relief was evident when Alex giggled at the picture his words conveyed. “Definitely not,” she agreed. “So the question is moot. Feelings or not, there can be no future for Drake and me.” She turned her gaze back to the sea. “It is good that we have arrived. It is time for my new life to begin … and my old one to end.”

He smiled wisely. “Only fate can show us what is ours to keep or ours to leave behind. Trust in her wisdom, my lady.”

Alex looked back at him. “You are a wonderful man, Smitty. And you have been the very best of friends to me. I will miss you.”

“And I you, my lady.” He paused. “But it is not yet time for good-byes. Come and watch our approach to the Saint Lawrence. The view is spectacular.”

Alex went to the railing, joy reflected in her face. She stared, transfixed, at her first view of Newfoundland’s rocky cliffs. Flocks of birds circled the formidable rock formations, surveying the waters for fish, then diving after their prey. The waves broke fiercely against the towering stones, spraying glittering streams of water along their rough surfaces. It was glorious.

“What is it? I asked not to be disturbed!” Geoffrey Cassel, the Earl of Sudsbury and governor of Upper Canada, slammed his fist on the desk and glared at the nervous footman standing in the doorway.

“I am sorry, m’lord,” the footman replied uneasily. “But this diplomatic pouch was just brought by military vessel, dispatched with great haste from England. I thought you would want to see it at once.”

Geoffrey stalked over and snatched the pouch from the footman’s hands, dismissing the servant with a cool nod. Impatiently he returned to his study, withdrew a key from the top drawer of his desk, and unlocked the pouch with combined anticipation and apprehension.

Expecting an important communication from the government, Geoffrey was startled to find a letter penned in his wife’s hand. With a muttered oath, he scanned the contents of the frantic message. As he read, his lips thinned in anger.

The urgent missive from his countess was typically and glaringly devoid of details. But apparently his blasted, foolhardy chit of a daughter had run off at the very onset of her first Season, without a word to anyone and with only a short note in the way of explanation. According to his wife, Constance, Alexandria was supposedly on her way to Canada, of all places. Geoffrey scowled, shaking his head. Well, if she was coming, he would deal with her … oh, yes he would. This would be the last impertinent act his daughter would ever commit.

Drake stood quietly, unseen, watching Alex’s radiant expression. She was glued to the railing, as she had been throughout the week since Canada had been sighted. Now she breathlessly watched the Long Sault Rapids rush past the narrow canal that carried La Belle Illusion along. Her reaction to the beauty around her was like a rebirth to him. To see each sight through her eyes was to see it for the first time, the only time.

He frowned. His exuberant passenger had a way of reawakening him to life’s offerings … and awakening hi

m to a vulnerability he never knew he possessed. There was a rare and beautiful innocence about her, a purity of both body and soul that had prompted Drake’s emotional withdrawal. He told himself that he had kept his distance to preserve her honor. But in his heart he knew that avoidance was his only defense against his need for Alex. And the tactic had been unsuccessful, for despite his apparent indifference, he craved her body and her spirit far more than he dared admit, even to himself.

With a will of their own, Drake’s legs carried him to Alex’s side. He leaned against the railing, pointing into the distance. “Look,” he said softly.

Alex was unprepared for the visual impact of the lush green velvet patches of land that greeted her eyes. Hundreds of them, all different in size and shape, were sprinkled throughout the Saint Lawrence as it approached Lake Ontario.

“Oh, Drake,” Alex breathed in wonder. “What are those?”