“What’s gonna happen to me if Ray doesn’t pay you on time?” I blurt.
And I’m suddenly out of breath.
So much for playing it cool about all this debt and marker stuff.
Without missing a beat or flinching at all, he answers with, “I’m not gonna hurt you, Violet.”
I empty out my lungs with a very long exhale.
He seems genuine.
“I’m sorry if you’ve been stressed about that.” He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear. I shiver and he pulls his hand back, his expression going wary.
I stare at him for a beat, then swallow, still feeling sensation on my ear from his fingers. “I can’t believe I blurted it like that.”
“Clearly, it’s been weighing on you.”
“I didn’t really think you’d hurt me, not with how nice you’ve been to me, but this whole thing isn’t…” I shrug.
“Good. Because I wouldn’t.”
“I just… I guess I’m trying to understand this whole thing.”
“What don’t you understand?”
I bite my lip for a minute. His piercing green eyes are on me, watching, also locking my eyes with his. It’s like he has some strange superpower or something.
“What if he does come up with the money?” I finally manage.
Killian looks at me with confusion. And then his expression hardens.
“If you don’t wanna be with that idiot when this is over, you don’t have to be.”
“I don’t,” I breathe, and I know that how much I don’t wanna be with him has to be written all over my face.
“Then you won’t be, Violet.”
My knees feel weak. I sit down on the bed. My hands on either side of my thighs, gripping the pretty farmhouse chic quilt.
My heart is racing.
“You’re relieved.”
“I want you to get your money back, Killian, I don’t want your kindness to him to be – taken advantage of, but I also don’t wanna be stuck with him. I’ve been wanting it to be over for a long time. And if he does come up with your money and thinks he can just pick up where things were left off…”
“If you say it’s over with him, then it’s over. Simple as that.”
“You don’t know Ray,” I say, eyes hitting my lap.
“I don’t?”
My eyes bounce up and he’s got an eyebrow cocked.
“I guess you do. I mean, you don’t know what Ray is like with me. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him, I just want him to go away. To leave me alone.”
“You don’t know me. If you knew me you’d believe what I’m about to say so do your best to believe it, okay?”
“Believe what?”
He squats in front of me so we’re eye-level.
“He’s done fucking with you, Violet.”
I swallow.
“Violet,” he says, and my name sounds like a command, a command to believe him.
My throat feels like it’s closing. Panic is setting in as his eyes, like liquid fire blaze at me.
“He’s done fucking with your life,” he repeats again, as if to try to drive the message home.
“If… I’m not really a marker, not really in danger because of his debt, why are you keeping me at your apartment?”
“You are a marker.”
I flinch with confusion.
“Leverage,” Killian says. “Raymond needs to sweat. He needs to know what he did was stupid and no amount of childhood history would let that stand. I am not gonna let shit go. I don’t ever let shit go, Violet. This is why I am where I am today.”
I chew on my lip.
He continues talking, eyes focused on my mouth. “If he were a good friend of mine and pulled that shit with me it wouldn’t stand.” Killian’s eyes move up to lock with mine. “He is not a good friend of mine. We grew up in the same shitty complex, fucked around in the same playgrounds, and believe me, Violet, I had no respect for him the night he met you. I just happened to be at the same place he was.”
“He made it seem like you guys were tight.”
“Like I said, you see me in three years?”
I shake my head.
“Exactly. Before the night at your apartment, the last time I saw that guy was a month after he met you. Just happened to be at the same place at the same time again. And not a call, nothin’ in between until that night a few weeks ago when we just happened to be in the same sports bar. I was meeting up with someone for a business reason and he approached my table when that was done.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. There’s more there, but I’m not lookin’ to get into it right now. What you need to know today is that this thing gives me the leverage I want with him and nothing bad is gonna happen to you while you’re the marker, okay? And when it’s done, however it gets done, you’ll be fine. This is a means to an end for the both of us. Enjoy your time here away from him, knowing he’s no longer your problem.”