How did Killian know I came here?
From what Ray just said, it’s obvious - Killian has been recording me. Spying on me.
I’m led to the kitchen, his hand on the small of my back. I watch him shut the basement door and open the fridge. He gets out two bottles of water, sets one down and opens the other and passes it to me.
I shakily take it from him and down half of it while he opens the other bottle and takes a sip, eyes on me while he drinks.
We stand there for a long moment, eyes on each other and I think I’m processing, computing everything. Feeling everything.
I burst into tears. Emotion, reality, it all hits me like a tsunami.
Immediately, he’s lifting me by my hips and setting me on the counter. He stays close, arms tight around me. My face is buried in my hands.
He takes my hands away gently, but I squeeze my eyes shut tight.
“Baby,” he says gruffly.
I open my eyes and stare into his green eyes. Searching.
There’s sadness there now. But the coldness I saw downstairs? Subzero coldness. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what that felt like – seeing his eyes like that. Those eyes told me what he’s capable of. And it’s beyond the worst-case scenario.
“I can’t believe this,” I say. “You… I… holy shit.”
He flexes his jaw muscles.
I need to think. I need to… I don’t even know. Fuck, this hurts.
“He needed to pay, Violet,” he says. “I never wanted you to know. I’m sorry you found out.”
I stare for a moment, just stare incredulously.
He flexes his jaw again and there’s that coldness again.
And something inside me… snaps.
“What?” I cry out incredulously. “He was in jail. He was paying. You bailed him out to… to… torture him?”
He says nothing.
I shake my head and push my way down off the counter, grabbing my water and moving past him. I pace. I pace the length of the kitchen for a minute and then I drink the rest of my water before throwing an arm up in the air, gesturing to the kitchen cupboard.
“Dog food? That dog food I found up in that cupboard.” I point.
He lifts one shoulder in a shrug.
Wow.
My eyes bulge.
“Lies. So many lies,” I choke out.
He says nothing.
“So, is that all this is? Just a way to get him back?” As I gesture between us, my eyes land on my wedding and engagement ring. I flex my fingers staring at it for a second. Killian has erased the space between us, grabbing my face in both hands, making me gasp at the intensity in both his touch and his eyes.
“Not even a fucking little,” he grinds out. Like he’s angry.
Like he’s angry? What?
“Back off. Lemme go,” I say, trying to shrink into the wall.
His eyes go shocked, I think, and then he steps back and swallows.
“I don’t know if this is a lie, too,” I whisper. “Another game.”
“No. Fucking no! No games, baby. I love you, more than anything on this earth. I swear it. You’re everything I want.”
I shake my head in absolute astonishment, staring at the man I love. And I do love him. I’m so in love with him that I went against all my rules about taking time to rebuild my life after that catastrophic relationship with Ray. It happened fast, I know that, but it happened. I fell hard. I believed in him. He made me believe in myself, too. But was it all for this? For revenge?
How could I be so blind?
“How many times did you ask me to trust you? And I did. I trusted you.”
How am I so gullible? Lies. Lies for weeks. Longer. A guy who… my God – all the things Ray just said swim through my mind. The torture. Dog food. Games. What the fuck? I feel queasy. Really queasy. I need air.
I push past him again and wrestle with the lock on the back door to get out. He’s directly behind me.
“Violet, come sit and talk to me.”
“I need air. I need a minute.”
I sit down on the step and stare out at the water. The frigid, angry-looking water. It feels like it’s running through my veins right now.
He lingers beside me for a while. A long while, I think; I’m not really sure because I’m just staring out at the ocean, the angry ocean, going over things in my head.
We were here a couple times. And thinking on the timing, Ray was here too. Kill played dumb when Ray’s mom came to see me. But that day, Ray was here. He was here while we were gone to Vegas, while we said our vows, while we were having sex on that airplane, on our honeymoon. Even when we were in Italy, and I handed him that burden by the fire to help me move on. He was doing this. This.