I stare out the window, covering my mouth. “I probably taste like salami.”
I catch his smile from my periphery. “A little.”
“So, you’re mad at me,” he says after a long silence.
I sigh, sucking on the skin of my index finger knuckle.
“Or madder,” he amends. “Do you want my help with whatever happened today?”
“I told you I don’t.”
“Do you wanna tell me what happened today?”
“Not particularly.”
“All right. How about this? We continue our conversation from yesterday.”
“It’s like… two in the morning.”
“Right. But neither of us need to get up early.”
“Because you got me fired,” I grumble.
“Also because tomorrow is Saturday,” he corrects.
“Oh.” I lick my lips. “Oh yeah. I’m not sure I’m prepared for this right now.”
“You wanna watch TV?”
I shake my head.
“Wanna go back to bed with me?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave.
I try to ignore the trill up my spine. This man still affects me that way even if I’m angry.
“You can go. I wanna watch it snow.”
“I’ll watch it snow with you,” he says and drops another kiss on my face, this one at the corner of my eye.
And these gestures, this sweetness is one of the things I love about him. But I have this ache in my heart where he’s concerned that’s still sharp.
“If you’re gonna make me sit here this close to you, I should go brush my teeth and get rid of the salami breath,” I say.
“Or I could just eat a salami sandwich, too.”
“Or you could let me sit over there,” I offer.
“No thanks,” he replies.
A smile tugs at my mouth, but I don’t let it fully happen.
I move to get up and his grip on me tightens.
“Let me up if you want your sandwich,” I say.
“Yeah?” he asks. “You’ll make it for me?”
I nod and he grants me release.
He then watches as I make his sandwich. Watches me like I fascinate him.
Why did I offer to make him a sandwich?
To get some distance? Maybe.
29
Killian
She passes me a sandwich and a beer and then goes back to the fridge and pours herself a glass of milk. She’s about to climb in my lap when I see a change on her face. She reaches to turn another of the chairs around. I quickly set my plate down, snatch her up, and put her in my lap. Where she belongs. Where her first instinct was sending her.
She sighs like she’s annoyed, but she still relaxes almost instantly into me.
While I eat, she stares out the window at the falling snow while alternating between sipping her milk and nibbling on her finger.
The snow melts as it hits the balcony, but it’s pretty. And she seems enamored with it.
“When should we put up a Christmas tree?” I ask. “Christmas Eve or sooner?”
She shrugs. “It hasn’t felt very Christmassy.”
“Well, there’s still time. And it’s our first Christmas together; we should decorate. Soon.”
“We’re not exactly on the same page, Killian. I’m only here because you sorta-kinda kidnapped me.”
“Then, let’s get there. To the same page. You told me Christmas was a big deal for you. Let’s make it a big deal.”
She lets out a long breath. “I should probably buy presents for people,” she mutters. “Only a couple shopping days left and all I bought so far was those shoes in Milan for my mom. We gave Cody the car but I wanna get him a new game for his PlayStation, too.”
“Yeah? What am I getting?”
“A lump of coal,” she says, looking me in the eyes. “Naughty list.”
“If it comes from you, I’ll treasure it,” I say and then take a swig of beer. “Dunno what’s so wrong with a lump of coal, anyway. People needed that back in the day to keep from freezin’ to death in their drafty old houses, right? One year our apartment building had barely any heat all winter. Thing kept goin’ on the fritz. Froze our asses off and had to keep the oven door open all the time. Willie was a toddler and learned real quick what the word ‘hot’ meant. Fuckin’ would’ve been happy if we got something for Christmas that kept us warm.”
“How cold is it in that basement right now?” she asks.
“Probably not bad,” I say, unaffected by the idea of Iadanza shivering down there. “He’s got a subzero sleeping bag and my guy plugged the bedroom’s space heater in the corner down there out of reach. It should help.”
“Guy? Guy knows about that?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Not Guy. One of my security guys – Tony. Only Tony, me, and two other people know he’s there. Besides you.”
“What about Sandy? What’s happening with Ray’s mom?”
“You’re ready to talk about this then?” I ask.
She sighs, but then her eyes are on me, expectantly. “You sent her to a work camp?”
“I sent her someplace where she could make a lot of money in a short amount of time if she was smart. She wasn’t smart.”