“Killian.” He’s visibly shaking.
I snicker. And I can’t help but feel a little satisfied.
“Our time together is coming to a close,” I say.
His eyes widen. “Don’t do it. Brah, please. I’ll never fuck you over again. I’ll - I’ll do anything. Anything. Name it.”
“Not killing you. Chapter’s closing. I’m sending you somewhere outta my hair.”
He frowns. “Where’s Violet?”
“She’s not your concern. Though she never was, was she? You never treated her right.”
He looks down.
“Though if it weren’t for her,” I continue, “the next chapter for you wouldn’t be happening. You’d either be dead or you’d be the mouse for the cat to play with at least a while longer.”
He frowns. “Be good to her, Kill. She deserves a good life.”
I laugh. “That’s rich coming from you. But man, I tell ya, that’s exactly what she’s gonna have. Got some good news in fact.”
He straightens and waits, looking braced.
“She’s havin’ my baby,” I say and flash him a Cheshire cat grin.
His face goes sour as he swallows and looks away. He looks wounded. Aww; poor Raymond. Fuckface.
“Yeah. Life is gonna be sweet for us. Can’t say the same for you, where you’re goin’.”
“Where am I goin’?”
“You’ll see. I’d say arrivederci, but I don’t think that’s the right phrase as it translates to, ‘until we meet again’. We won’t see one another again, Shit-stain. So… bye. Enjoy your time in hell.” I chuckle. “Actually, where I’m sending you might make you wish you were in hell. Unless you decide you wanna … you know… end it before then.” I reach into my pocket and toss over a pill bottle that lands on his bed, contents rattling. “Your call.”
“Wait,” he says, urgently.
I walk out and lock up without looking back.
Instead of giving him the one pain pill he gets for the day, he can decide if he wants to take them all and end his pain permanently.
***
She folds her arms and stares out the window as we drive away.
And do I have a pang of remorse for tossing Iadanza those pills? No. Because I don’t think he’s man enough to take them. I really don’t. But I’m sure he’ll have a long and agonizing day with the insight he just got.
Violet didn’t want murder. And that’s not murder. It’s just providing the ass-wipe with an opportunity. An opportunity he won’t take, but that he’ll toil over.
Maybe he’d have ended it with a handful of painkillers a few weeks ago when I was still torturing him every time I went. But he’s had a week and a half of regular food, entertainment, and pain medication. He’s got the will to live again. Though, now he’s also got fear of the unknown. And that’s satisfying as fuck.
I’ll make some calls Monday and get the ball rolling on sending the fucker off to Campo.
32
Violet
By the time we get to the garden center near home, I’m feeling green with a combination of car sickness and morning sickness and my boobs feel like they weigh four hundred pounds. Each.
I’m crabby and tired until I smell all the Christmas trees inside the big greenhouse that’s decked out to the max for Christmas. This perks me up; I love this store.
I’m further perked by the teenaged girl and boy in the front entrance who are dressed like Santa’s elves and offering us large gingerbread men cookies and hot chocolate.
I take a bite of mine and chew as we wander through the beautiful space.
“It’s like Christmas puked in here,” Killian mutters, biting the head off his cookie.
I smile. “Isn’t it great?”
He leans in and kisses me, holding onto the pom-pom on top of my hat. “It is. And you know what?”
“What?” I ask, taking another bite of my cookie. It’s delicious. And for now, I’m not feeling that clawing nausea in the middle of my throat.
“Love seeing you smile. I think Christmas could not have had better timing.”
I shrug, feeling myself deflate. Clearly, I was just ignoring our problems for a minute, because I love Christmas and for some strange reason, this store is making me happy.
“No. Don’t stop smiling. Let’s make this a good day, baby. Let’s buy new ornaments. If there’s anything you want from the old boxes, fine, but I’d just as well have our first tree be all us. You know?”
“Okay,” I say softly.
I’ve always loved this store. It’s pricy, though. I’ve walked through here many times as a kid with my mom and my grandmother, most often right after Christmas when things are marked down on clearance.
As far as a tree decorated with nothing from my boxes, I’m feeling relief. Because there are some Ray and Violet memories in those boxes. Most of the decorations are from before Ray, but there are a few that would make me think of him.
“To new beginnings?” Killian asks, holding out his Styrofoam hot chocolate cup.