I snicker. “You got it.” I kiss her and get out of bed, letting my boxer briefs fall the rest of the way down my legs, step out of them, then head to the bathroom to clean up. I come back with a towel and wipe between her legs before kissing her again.
She’s already asleep when I’m back with her juice.
38
Violet
Killian is still asleep when my work alarm goes off. He doesn’t move an inch when I roll away from him and out of bed.
My first thought is the same one I think of first each morning the last few days. Wondering about bleeding, hoping that there’s been no more of it.
My second thought after I use the bathroom and see that it’s another blood-free morning is Ray.
Ray shooting his mouth off about what’s happened. I try to shake that off because it’s terrifying. And I can’t shake it off because it occurs to me that he could even lie, something he’s been known to do, and say I did stuff to him, too. That I knew about it from the start. Not only could Killian go to jail, so could I. And where would that leave our baby?
In my mind I hear Killian asking me to trust him.
As I take a fast shower, the next thing I consider is how strange I feel. I got up with an alarm, it’s Monday morning, but I have no job, nothing to do. This isn’t how my life is.
And then I decide I have plenty to do. Starting with calling a lawyer.
I get to nine o’clock without throwing up, having had some weak tea and a yogurt for breakfast, watching some news while sucking on a nausea lollipop and checking my social media accounts before I begin to look online for local law firms.
The firm Killian took me to when we got back from Italy to go over his stuff and to add me to his will comes up first, so I decide to start there and ask them for a recommendation for someone in employment law.
They tell me that they’ve got someone in their firm that can help me, so I make an appointment, planning to tell whoever I meet with that I’ll want to call all the shots, that they’ll be working with me, not Killian on the case.
I get a text from Tennille at KIT Peripherals just before nine thirty, asking me when I left for and returned from my honeymoon. After I reply, she says she wants to do lunch, telling me she’s got proof that I didn’t place the wrong purchase order. She wants to talk about it in person. I arrange to meet tomorrow for lunch. It works well because my appointment with the lawyer is shortly after lunch, so I’ll have some information that’ll help my case, maybe. Tennille also tells me I should have a conversation with Tara at my office, that they’ve already spoken, and I will definitely want to get her take on what happened.
I send Tara a text.
Me: Can we talk? Maybe after work? Call me. Or can we get together for a coffee?
Tara responds almost immediately.
Tara: I’m gathering info for you. I’ll call when I know more. You’re gonna be ok! You’re not wrong and we’ll get proof.
It’s kind of bizarre to feel so calm about all this stuff. But I know I’m not in the wrong and I also know that I won’t starve to death without a paycheck, thanks to Killian. And that’s a strange feeling, a foreign one. It’s beyond strange to have support like this instead of being the one always having to worry about money.
Besides, I’ve had a lot more serious things to worry about lately, so this doesn’t feel like the catastrophe it might’ve felt like not too long ago.
Speaking of support, my friends are helping me. I have a support system. A great one. And I guess I know now that I’ve always had one despite the fact that I didn’t reach out to anybody for help back in the Ray days.
Patricia comes in, looking surprised to see me.
“Hi!” she greets with an extra-bright smile.
“Good morning, Patricia. How are you?”
“I’m fine. But more importantly, what about you? Is everything okay?”
She’s obviously noticed I wasn’t here last week.
I say, “Working on it.”
“I’ve been worried about you both. I’m glad to see you here.”
She hangs her coat up and is about to enter the butler’s pantry when I blurt, “I’m pregnant. Early, but yeah. Pregnant.”
Her eyes light up. “Oh! Congratulations!”
“Thanks.”
“Is that why you’ve been gone? Is he not happy? I probably shouldn’t ask that, but Killian has become like a brother. Alana and I both kind of adopted him. If we need to sort him out, we’ll do that. Believe me.”
I wave a hand. “He threw out my birth control pills on our way to get married. He wanted this.”