“Clearly you do. I’m impressed. You need any help, you let me know.”
“I’ve got this,” she says. “She turned on me as soon as I started to get strong. It’s like she liked me best when I was meek. As soon as me and you got started, she started to get really… kind of aggressive with me.”
“She’s jealous. What if they can her and offer you the job back?” I ask.
She twists her lips in contemplation. “We’ll see. I think I need a break. The way I got fired left a bad taste in my mouth. Though if I go squirrely, I’ll work for you. I’ve never had a break. Like… ever. And now seems like a good time to take one. But we’ll see if I can handle it.” She bites her lip, looking at me as if for approval. She’s got it.
I smile. “I agree. And I’ve got this Raymond shit. I don’t want you worrying.”
“Thankfully, I’m going to be busy the next few days getting Christmas shopping done, doing some stuff for Grampa, figuring out this lawyer stuff. I won’t have much time to worry.”
I kiss her. “I know. But I don’t want you to worry. I want you to focus on being happy, being my queen. Growing our baby. You ‘n me. Forever. Okay? Like we promised.”
She looks into my eyes and hers get brighter. “You’re gonna miss your flight,” she says softly.
“I’m still fine. Don’t worry.”
“I love you, Killian.”
I’m about to say it back, but she keeps going. “I love you more than I’ve loved any man in my life. So much, even the idea of life without you devastates me. I meant my vows to you.”
“I know how it feels; I feel the same.”
“But if you blindside me like you did again, if you hurt me like that again, you probably will lose me.”
I blow out a breath.
She keeps going. “I don’t like ultimatums and it’s not my style to say things like this so please know I don’t say this lightly. I’m very serious. You really, really hurt me. And I’m having a bit of trouble with trust right now. Trust is the most important thing in a marriage and I’m trying, but…”
I cup her jaw. “I know. All I ask is that you try. Gimme the chance. It’s my goal to never hurt you again. Ever. But if you think I’ll let anything cause me to lose you including you being stubborn, you’re wrong.”
Her eyes spark with anger. “Is that a threat?”
“Yes. I’m warning you, you’re gonna have a happily ever after with me. Whether you want it or not.” I smile wide and kiss her.
“Of course I want it,” she says against my mouth.
“Then let’s get on with that,” I say and bury my nose in her throat, feeling her shiver. I breathe her in, taking her scent into my lungs, willing it to work straight through me. This girl. My girl. I really do fucking love her. “You’re getting strong,” I say. “Is it my kid inside you making you so fierce or do you just feel safe to be strong because you’ve got a loving and supportive husband who will give you anything?”
She shrugs. “Who knows. Maybe after all I’ve gone through, I’m done being a victim. Tired of just being this… people-pleaser. And I love that you see us together forever, Killian, I do. I hope you’re right. But I’m done getting broken, feeling beaten down. I mean that. If I get broken again, I don’t know if I’ll bounce back. I’ll either lose my marbles or turn bitter and hate your guts.”
“You’re heard, baby. And something tells me you’re unbreakable now. And you’re only gonna grow even more fierce when you become a mama bear.”
“I want to know what you’re planning with Ray.”
“I know. We’ll talk later; I’ll fill you in. Have fun today. And be careful.”
“You be careful, too.”
I already know what I’m doing about that shit-stain. Tracks I laid a while back will work in my favor. Now, to just get to Seattle and talk to Jag’s sister. Make sure she’s not some wildcard that might bite me in the ass. And then I’ll execute the rest of my two assholes/one stone plan and something like Felix Hoffman, Raymond Iadanza will cease to be a threat to us. Though he won’t be dead, too. He’ll just wish he was.
40
Killian
Something nags, almost gnaws at me through the flight to see Jag, and it’s making me wish I’d set up personal security for Violet before leaving the state. Stan carries a gun, but he’s not a trained bodyguard.
Seattle is close, less than an hour flight, but the ride feels like it takes forever because I’ve got a feeling. It reminds me of what I imagine was what my nan used to get. We’d be out someplace and she’d start, muttering that she thought she left something on at home. She’d say things like, “Did I turn my stove off?” Or “Oh no; I think I left that coffee pot on.” This is like that, but worse. I’ve got a sense of doom crawling through my veins. As if I’ve overlooked something important.