“I made a wish on a wish, Mommy,” Chance tells me as I dust dandelion seeds off his brother’s curly dark head.
“Don’t tell me what you wished for, sweetie. It’s more likely to come true if you keep it to yourself.”
“But I didn’t wish a wish for me. I wished a wish that Daddy’s wishes come true. Because you always say all your wishes already did.”
“That’s great, baby boy. I love that.” I lean over and kiss his forehead.
“When does he come home from Torchugal?”
“Portugal,” I correct. “In three more sleeps.”
“Can I talk to him so I can tell him I made a wish for him to get his wishes?”
“He’ll call us at breakfast time tomorrow, sweet pea. You can tell him.” I ruffle his hair. His hair is like mine. His green eyes, just like his daddy’s, sparkle with happiness.
Our baby Gabriel has my eyes and my hair.
Both boys inherited my dimples, which I inherited from my grandmother.
Chance has my taste in pizza. We eat from the pineapple side and Killian and Gabe eat from the non-pineapple side.
Chance and Gabriel are thick as thieves together. And I wonder what they’ll be like when their sister comes along. Baby Ginger is due in a little more than five months. I found out a week ago that we’re getting our girl and booked my tubal ligation to be done right after she’s born. Three babies in five years? I’m very done. Though Killian jokes that we should keep going. Then again, he loves me pregnant. I’d go as far as saying he has a pregnant belly fetish. Our sex life has been very active with all three pregnancies. I was lucky enough that with this one, there’s been no morning sickness. Ironically, we’re still planning to name her Ginger, even though ginger hasn’t been as much of a staple for me this time around. It was a lifesaver the last two times for sure.
Killian might love me barefoot and pregnant, but he’s not the one with all the stretchmarks. My man does a good job of taking care of me when I’m not feeling well. Then again, he’s good at a lot of things, including being the best daddy ever.
And in five years with two babies and another one coming, I’m afraid I have a bit of a mom-bod but he’s got nothing remotely resembling a dad-bod. Yet.
“Mommy, can we try to find frogs?” Chance asks.
“Sure, sweet pea. Just no keeping them today. Okay?”
His chin wobbles briefly and I know he’s feeling bad about last time we were here and he forgot about the frog he caught while fishing with Grampa and my dad. He left it in a jar in the sun and the frog didn’t fare too well. At all.
We had to have a frog funeral and Chance felt so bad about it, he wrote an apology note that was buried with the poor departed amphibian.
He nods, then clears his expression before he takes his brother’s hand and they run toward the shoreline together. I follow, startling as our baby girl does what feels like a full somersault in my tummy.
***
I’m woken when I feel the blankets move. Chance is climbing in with me. Gabriel is already here. Both my babies love sleeping with me and with Killian away, I don’t mind at all.
I snuggle him into my left side. I’ve got Gabe on my right. And their sister picks that moment in my belly to move around, too.
I’m looking forward to Killian being back home. This business trip came out of the blue and while I’ve tried not to let myself overthink it, the fact that he was restless for a few days before he left did nag at me. I have a feeling it’s one of those gray areas Killian occasionally has to delve into that I don’t ask questions about.
I don’t need to ask. I trust him wholeheartedly and know that if he’s dabbling with darkness, it’s a necessity.
***
Killian
I’m sitting in the back seat of a cab, stopped at yet another red light. I’m trying to show patience to get where I’m going, but anxious, nonetheless. Me and red lights. They still do their best to remind me that patience can pay off. And sometimes it does.
It’s been five years with Violet now. Five beautiful years of living life, growing my family, expanding my business even more, and giving my beautiful wife every indication that she and our boys are my reason for living. They are. And in a few short months, we’ll have our daughter come along, too. Our family will be complete until our kids grow and add to it.
The fact that we’ve now got a daughter on the way – that’s why old shit has been niggling at me. Weighing on my heart. Threatening to mess with my sleep. The idea of having a beautiful little girl on this planet that will someday fall in love, most likely put her trust in a man to love her, look after her heart, look after her wellbeing? That’s why I feel like I need to do what I’m doing today.