Flash Burned (Burned 2)

“That is not how he sees it.”

“But you know better.”

Our gazes held for a second or two before he focused on the road. We headed down the red-dirt path to the rehab retreat. When he pulled up to the entrance, he cut the engine, left the vehicle, and came around my side to open the door.

He said, “I understand what Dane has to do. But neither he nor I are the least bit comfortable leaving you on your own—even with Kyle. Even here with all this security.”

So, he’d staked the place out. Mr. Conaway must have given away my location, because I suddenly realized that I hadn’t provided Amano directions.

He added, “It’s not easy determining who we can trust with your safety. But we’re working on it.”

I frowned, taken aback. “What does that mean?”

“Just stay put for now. Don’t venture out unless I specifically call you. Can you do that?”

It would be more difficult knowing Dane was out there somewhere and I wasn’t with him. But I said, “We stream Netflix here. My queue is about a hundred selections deep. I’m good.”

I didn’t mention the need to continue my holistic healing to keep the morning sickness at bay and the fact that my body had never felt stronger or more balanced, because of Gretchen’s excellent pre-natal yoga lessons. The retreat, in general, was a lifesaver.

He walked me to the gate, then waited until I’d entered the house to leave.

Kyle was finishing breakfast with his aunt when I came in. He grabbed his landscaping book and headed out back with nothing more than a slight nod in my direction.

I gave a heavy sigh and slid into the chair he’d vacated.

“Problem?” Dr. Stevens asked, her tone light, nonassuming.

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing,” she told me. Her eyes glowed with earnestness. “And you don’t have to tell me, either.”

“I just needed to take care of some things,” I said of my overnight absence. Added a dismissive wave of my hand for good measure.

“You don’t have to explain or justify, Ari. You can come and go as you please. But how are you feeling?”

“Better. Much better. Famished, actually.” It suddenly dawned on me. I hadn’t eaten at the house, mostly because I feared it coming up on me while I was with Dane. How would I have accounted for that without revealing my pregnant state?

“You’re in luck. Oatmeal and breakfast potatoes are part of the buffet. I know they settle a little easier in your stomach than most other foods.”

“Perfectly strange combination though they are.” I loaded up a plate and returned to the table where she sat.

“Another month and you’ll be able to discern the gender of the baby. If you so choose.”

I smiled. “I keep thinking about that. Do I want to know, or do I want to be surprised?”

“Depends on if you prefer to plan in advance—nursery colors, clothing, and the like.”

“Which is what’s so bizarre, because I’m one-hundred percent a planner. And yet…” I shrugged noncommittally. I’d been fairly certain I needed all the facts up front when it came to having a baby. I’d devoured every parenting book I could get my hands on and had endlessly quizzed the doctors and moms I came in contact with, using every resource at my disposal.

Still, there was something intriguing about the unknown.

If I were to dig a little deeper, I had a feeling I’d discover that was one of the many things that made me so addicted to Dane and the life we led. I never knew what tomorrow would bring—I never knew what the next ten minutes would bring. And that was exciting, challenging, empowering, motivating … Scary, too, but only in the sense that I had to remember I couldn’t control everything, not even my own reactions or emotions. He’d proven that to me long ago and it was a lesson that repeated itself.

I couldn’t say it all worked out smashingly for me now that I’d confirmed he was alive. Everything about us remained derailed. But our current predicament did leave me with that sense of optimism weddings always inspired. There was a chance things would fall into place for us. The potential existed and that was what excited me the most. What I held fast to.

Naturally, the possibility of it all falling horrifically apart again still lingered in a threatening, ominous way. I did my best to avoid that reality.

In fact, I instantly decided that I’d wait to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. I wouldn’t prepare without Dane, and I’d be surprised about the sex of our child right along with him. Because even though he didn’t yet know I was pregnant, we were in this together.