“You want to keep a promise to me?” I asked. “Don’t think about what you’re leaving behind. Do what you have to do so you can come back to us.”
I nearly choked on my words but did my best to deliver them as succinctly and calmly as I could.
“I love you, Ari.” His hands cupped my face. “You’re strong. So strong. Our baby will be just like you.”
“Or you.” I gazed at him through watery eyes and said, “I can’t tell what I’m having, but a beautiful boy who looks just like you would be perfect. Just do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Make sure he has a father.” More tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Ari.”
“Be safe. That’s what I’m asking.”
He kissed me again, then stepped away. Turned to go.
I felt a strange wrenching inside. None of this was right, but it was inescapable.
I watched him pass through the door.
Wondering, as always, if this would be the last time I saw him.
* * *
I splashed cold water on my face, fixed my slightly mussed hair, and joined Kyle in the kitchen for dinner.
“Quick conjugal visit?” he quipped.
I glared.
“Ew. Not a nice look for you,” he said.
Snatching the box of linguine from the counter, I opened it and poured the pasta into the water boiling in the stockpot.
“What are you making, anyway?” I asked. “Smells amazing.”
“Pesto chicken to go with the linguine.”
“Your mom must be one hell of a cook.”
“She is. I had no choice but to watch and learn, since I was always taking care of the baby while she was in the kitchen.”
“And your dad was on the road?”
Kyle pulled open the door to the double oven set into the wall and said, “Selling computer equipment. Good at his job but never home.”
“Not even now?”
Kyle shrugged. “I think he likes the idea of home, marriage, family, but he’s not exactly accustomed to actually being at home to deal with his marriage and family.”
“That’s too bad. And something I can no longer comprehend. Ironic, given my messed up childhood.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he said as he mixed dipping sauces for the bread. “He’s a great dad. I mean, football was really his first calling and he helped so much when I wanted to play. Because of his mentoring, I was recruited onto the varsity team when I should have been playing JV. He would have made a great high school coach, but he went where the big bucks were and, again … I think he’s always liked being on the move with his job.”
I stirred the pasta. “I guess I can understand that. I mean, we’ve been restless here. I wasn’t meant to be a full-time housewife.”
“Does your husband know that?”