His hands cupped my face and he gave me a valiant grin. “It means soon. So just stay put, with Amano and Kyle. Because I’ll be back before you know it. For good this time.”
Tears welled in my eyes and I tried to push them back, for his sake. He thought I was strong. I thought I was about to crumble at his feet.
We’d had an entire weekend of normalcy. A longer, saner span of time than we’d had since last Thanksgiving, five months ago.
A lifetime ago, as far as I was concerned.
He kissed me and then said, “Just remember how much I love you and how much I want to come back to you—to our family.”
The agents gave me their obligatory apologetic smiles. I turned away and walked out onto the patio.
Kyle followed.
“At the risk of sounding like a tool,” he said, “this blows. F
or you. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not a tool. You’re stating the obvious.” I swiped at more tears.
“Okay, at the risk of sounding like an asshole … you really could do so much better.”
I laughed. “And now you’re a tool.”
He chuckled along with me. “Had a feeling that one would get you.”
I sank into a sofa and pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my arms on them. “I don’t begrudge him this duty. I just miss him every single second. Like … every single one.”
“Yeah, that figures.” Kyle let out a long breath.
I said, “You know he’s doing the right thing. No matter how painful it is for me or the bullshit it’s brought into our lives.”
He was silent for a couple of minutes, then told me, “This is going to sound crazy, but when this is done … I’m not exactly sure where I’ll go from here. I mean, even the marketing jobs we talked about don’t hold much appeal. I’m used to being on my toes now. I spend all this energy being prepared for anything, and the adrenaline rush is pretty sweet. How am I supposed to clock in to an eight-to-five desk job?”
I contemplated this, both alarmed at my best friend thriving on danger and comprehending it at the same time. The best advice I could offer was, “You’re young and feeling invincible. Something you lost when you blew out your knee and had to take a pass on a pro football career. That doesn’t mean you are invincible. But I will admit, you don’t suck at the bodyguard stuff.”
“So maybe I have a higher calling than marketing.”
My stomach clenched nervously. “Call it best-friend worries or new, maternal wariness, but I’m not really liking the sound of that.”
“And yet you know I make a good point. Ari, I could sit in a cube all damn day photoshopping designs on a computer, or I could save a life or two. Maybe even yours.”
“Not at the risk of yours,” I insisted. “Look, Kyle, I didn’t know Amano when he started shadowing me. It was his job, and he’s so loyal and dedicated to Dane that he clearly took on the assignment without a second thought. Unfortunately for him, I came with a bull’s-eye on my forehead because of my association with Dane. But as I’ve gotten to know him … I’m not all that whippy over the fact that Amano puts his life on the line for me all the time. I’m most certainly not happy that you want to do the same.”
He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and shuffled around a bit. Then he asked, “How do you really feel about your husband being all warrior-ninja-like?”
“Similar to Amano, he’s good at what he does. He seems to know how to blend and hide and be all-around stealthy to get the job done. Do I like any of this? Hell, no. Do I trust him? Absolutely. But would I wish this on anyone?” I stared unwaveringly at Kyle. “Not a chance. And I don’t want you, one of the closest people to my heart, to do anything crazy, over-the-top, dangerous.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I interjected, “Don’t mistake Amano or Dane for being warrior-ninja-like and get some high off of it. They do what they have to do in order to stand up to the society and to protect me. The baby. Even you and my dad. I don’t want you putting yourself in that line of fire. For me or for anyone else.”
He walked away. I debated the situation. Then I leapt to my feet, an idea popping into my head. I followed him into the kitchen. Amano was there, too, sipping espresso.
“Perfect,” I said. “You’re both here. Let’s take a field trip.”
They eyed me suspiciously. Kyle with a bit of angst brewing.
Because I didn’t put him on par with Amano’s mad skills as a bodyguard?
“Hey,” I said, raising my hands in the air. “Trust me.”