Burned Hearts (Burned 3)

Only an hour or so passed before the agitation got the best of him.

He threw off the pad on his shoulder and set his laptop on the table before him. Got to his feet. He crossed to the floor-to-ceiling doors and windows looking out on the terrace and the forest beyond. A couple of the doors were open and the rustle of leaves and the running of the rapids filtered in. Soothing sounds, though Dane’s aggravation overrode the tranquility.

I flipped the cover on my tablet, left it on the sofa, and joined him.

Wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, I pressed my cheek to his warm skin, feeling his good shoulder blade flex.

“What is it?” I asked in a soft voice. “Can’t find what you’re looking for?”

“I’m used to the needles and haystacks by now,” he told me, his voice low and tense.

“So what’s got you so annoyed?”

“Not annoyed. More like…” He blew out a sharp breath. Shook his head. Then said, “You mentioning Mikaela earlier has me thinking about a lot of things.”

“Seeing her? Letting her in on the secret while it’s still a secret?”

“No, that’s not it at all. I’m actually not thinking about her right now. I’m thinking about you. About us.”

My stomach took a peculiar dive south. Because of his grave tone? Because I’d been thinking a lot about us lately, too? How all of this affected our marriage. Or relationship.

“I’ve made a million promises to you,” he said. “How many have I kept?”

I closed my eyes. Tried to maintain steady breathing and calm nerves. In all honesty, I told him, “You’ve kept the most important one. That your heart will never belong to anyone else.”

That’d been his wedding vow to me. Not the only one, which he clearly thought of now.

“I also told you that I wouldn’t let you down.”

“And you haven’t,” I contended.

“I haven’t given you the life you deserve.”

My heart wrenched at his silent fury. “You gave me exactly what I wanted, Dane. You.”

“But I can’t always be here with you. I have to allow Amano and Kyle to protect you.” He let out a low growl. “Fuck. There shouldn’t be anything for them to protect you from. You should be planning events at the Lux. Spending time with Meg and Sean. Grace. Tamera. Your friends. You should be out shopping and wondering if I’m going to hit the roof when I see the bill.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. “I fear you’d only be disappointed I didn’t make a dent in the bank account. Not much of a shopper. Well, except for this kid.”

“You know what I’m saying.”

“Yes.”

“This isn’t ideal, Ari.”

I was quiet for a few moments. My arms tightened around him. I could feel his pain. His disconcertment. His need to give me the moon and the stars. Not nightmares.

But it wasn’t Dane’s fault.

I said, “You once tried to convince me you weren’t the bad guy. When you’d beat the hell out of Vale for what he’d done to me. It scared me, Dane. Everything about that night and the way you responded scared me. But you rescued me. And the only reason you went off on Vale with such rage was because he’d hurt me.”

Turning my head into Dane’s rigid muscles, I kissed his smooth flesh. Then whispered, “You’re not the bad guy. And I know it.”

“I’m a bad husband, then.”

That just plain broke my heart. Tears sprang to my eyes.

“No,” I was quick to say. “You absolutely are not. I respect your convictions. You are solid as oak, Dane. And I love you even more for that.”