“Not by any stretch of the imagination.”
He swept away fat drops on my skin with his thumb. “We’re going to have to strike a balance. So you’re not trying to prove your value and I’m not telling you what I do and don’t want you to do. I love you. I want you to have everything you desire—whatever kind of life you want.”
It was a lot to process. I’d actually seen the power struggle coming on. It was more than just about going after Wayne when Dane had told me not to. There was a lot to sift through when it came to all of this—us being separated so that I had to make decisions on my own, and Dane making his own decisions independently of me. The predicament we’d instantly been thrust into since getting together.
Everything between the two of us had happened so quickly. Meeting, falling in love, encountering danger at the Lux, getting married, losing each other, having a baby when we hadn’t even fully discussed starting a family …
Now I was living in this beautiful house with my bodyguard, my best friend, our house manager, and a child. Occasionally my ghost of a husband.
Quite the whirlwind existence to experience over the course of just one year.
Swallowing down a bit more of my water, I tentatively suggested, “Maybe we ought to try a few sessions with Tamera. She’s a couples counselor, in addition to being an officiant.”
He nodded. I stared curiously at him, a little surprised he agreed. And so promptly.
“Seriously? You’d consider that?”
His thumb continued to stroke my cheek. “I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make you happy. To keep you here with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I vehemently insisted.
“I hope you’ll always feel that way.”
My heart wrenched that he’d ever doubt my conviction.
But then I recalled a time when I had left him.
So I tried to reassure him, simply saying, “Count on it.”
We gazed at each other a few moments more. I knew this wasn’t wholly resolved. There was more he needed to say.
I waited patiently.
Dane’s hand fell away from my face. His jaw clenched briefly again.
“You need to make amends with Amano,” he told me.
My heart constricted further. “I know. I went behind his back. He’s furious, and I don’t blame him.”
“That’s not all, Ari.”
I easily conceded, “I put him in a difficult spot, asking him not to call you when we went to Macy’s retreat, after my water broke. I didn’t actually think I was about to have the baby, but it wasn’t a fair situation for him. He’ll do anything for me. He’s already proven that. But he’s loyal to you, first and foremost.”
“No, that’s not the point I’m making. He isn’t loyal to me above you—or Amsel,” Dane insisted. “He’s committed to all of us. That’s the way he is. He knows what’s most important to me and that’s what he protects. No matter what.”
“So…?” I raised a hand in surrender, this time not quite sure what he was getting at.
“Beyond turning the tables on him to try to get him to keep a secret from me, you snuck out with Kyle when Amano was with Rosa and Amsel. You have to understand how crazed that makes him—to discover you were out of his reach, out of his protection, without him even knowing about it. Ari, that’s not the way the concept of a bodyguard works. And it’s not how Amano operates.”
“I was with Kyle and the FBI,” I reminded Dane in my defense. “I didn’t intentionally put myself in harm’s way.”
My hand dropped to my side. That was a lie, wasn’t it?
Kyle and I had formulated our own strategy. We’d sent Amano off with Rosa and the baby so that he wouldn’t stop us.
Therefore, our actions had been premeditated.
Damn. I had some owning up to do. This really had become a complicated family scenario.