“Not going to happen,” he said without missing a beat. “Next?”
I closed my eyes again, shook my head. “I asked you to give careful consideration to—”
“Next?” he softly demanded.
My lids fluttered open. We gazed at each other across the kitchen island. He was my best friend and I trusted him with my life. I trusted him with my son’s life. That meant my second favor would not be a small one. “Stay and protect Amsel. Not me, not Dane. Not even Rosa. I’m sending her away. Just Amsel.”
“Ari—”
“Just my son, Kyle,” I insisted. “He is your only concern, your only focus. No matter what. I can have five red dots on my forehead. Your only thought is protecting my son. And keeping yourself alive.”
He gave me a strange look. Then asked, “You’re really hoping I’ll just walk away?”
“For your own safety, yes.”
“But what would be the point?”
“You’d still be alive next week.”
His shoulders bunched. His jaw tightened again. “And you might be dead. Your son might be dead. In what world could I possibly live with that?”
“Kyle—”
“No,” he said, cutting me off. “Maybe you and I will never be.” He threw his arms up in exasperation. “Okay, yeah. You and I will never be,” he huffed while tears stung the backs of my eyes over this very touchy conversation. “But that doesn’t mean I could just leave. Whatever danger you’re in, whatever danger your son is in—that’s my danger, too, Ari.”
His conviction was punctuated by his hostile and adamant tone. Kyle clearly had no intention of backing down.
He told me, “We’ve been in this together from the beginning and we’ll continue to be in it together. Until this is done, Ari. That’s our for better or for worse.”
He stormed past me, out of the kitchen.
I stared after him, trying to catch my breath.
chapter 18
Later in the evening, I met up with Kyle once more. This time on the terrace.
He sipped Dane’s good brandy while staring out across the creek, into the dense forest. Silver streaks from the moonlight filtered through the trees and cast glittery sprays over the rapids.
“You know I wasn’t telling you that I want you to leave, right?” I asked as I joined him at the wrought-iron railing. “Not in the it’s time to move on sense. It’s just that you’ve made it this far without fully taking a bullet for anyone. I’d like to keep it that way.”
“I know what you want,” he said, still gazing out into the heavily wooded area beyond the steady stream of water. “It’s what I want, too. For us to somehow be friends, despite it all.”
“I’ve always loved Dane.” I couldn’t allow Kyle to have any delusions about that. “I always will.”
“I know.”
“I love you, too, Kyle. Just not in the same way. Never in the same way. From the first time I saw Dane, something happened to me. Something changed inside and it can’t be changed back. It won’t be changed back, ever. I wouldn’t want it to.”
“You could end up dead, Ari.”
“I realize that.” In a gentle tone, I said, “But I still choose him.”
Kyle’s gaze finally slid my way. “I get it. I don’t agree with it, and personally, I think you’re making a huge mistake by passing up my witty repartee and smooth moves, but … I do get it. The heart wants what the heart wants, right?”
“You’ll do much better than me,” I promised. “Someone with slightly less drama would be nice, huh?”
He chuckled, though it was a bit strained. “Slightly less.”