“Tague—” Her eyes were wide and searching. It took her a few moments to gather her thoughts before she quietly said, “Thank you. I’ve appreciated from the beginning that you don’t play games. That you don’t scheme to get the upper hand.”
“Remember, I have personal experience of what it’s like to have someone else control your destiny. Hell, I’m still dealing with it to an extent. Although, I do have alternatives.” He could break free of the firm and establish his own company. It was the equivalent of ripping the Mason, Hoffman & Stein signage from the front lobby and pissing all over it, but…it was an option. He did have options, he reminded himself.
And that was hugely liberating.
Tague had always contended that he was his own man, following the Renee debacle. So why was he ultimately allowing his father to hold his future in chains?
But again… L.L.’s reticence when it came to a long-distance romance was a huge complication.
One Tague couldn’t immediately reconcile.
He said, “We have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow or two years from now. Just because we’ve hit some roadblocks doesn’t mean we can’t fight for our relationship and find a way to make it thrive. If it’s what we both want, than this will work.”
Her gaze narrowed on him. “My mother would say the exact same thing to me in this scenario.”
“Loralai, tell me it’s exactly what you’re thinking,” he urged.
She continued to stare at him for endless seconds. Looking as tormented as he felt. Then she told him, “I just can’t make that decision right now. I signed a three-year lease. I have business partners. And there’s still so much about each other that we don’t know, Tague.”
“I think we’ve hit the high points, baby.”
“Yes. True. But…” There was an intense earnestness in her eyes that made his heart wrench. “I knew last night before we even arrived at the party that I was falling in love with you. I knew it for a fact this morning. I feel it even more strongly right this very second. I just… I need to get my feet underneath me again.”
Tague understood where she was coming from. He wanted to push, because that was his nature. But she needed time.
So he said, “Just keep an open mind, Loralai.”
She nodded. “I promise.”
It was easier said than done to start packing up his life, this time on a more permanent basis, because he wouldn’t be living out of a hotel suite in Tokyo as he had previously.
Tague boxed up suits and other apparel to ship overseas. He left his apartment intact, for the most part, only opting to take a few personal items he couldn’t bring himself to part with for extensive periods of time. He had some great photos of L.L. on his iPhone and decided to print and frame them for his new office and apartment in Tokyo.
Granted, guilt and a peculiar longing festered deep within him. This international strategy had been his dream for years. It was the next critical step in taking his career to a higher level, whether he did it under the umbrella of his family’s firm, or he hung his own shingle. Yet leaving his heart behind was another story entirely.
He’d lost Renee at a young age. It’d been devastating for him. But he’d powered through, considering himself older and wiser.
He was older, yes. But was he really wiser?
Because now he had a chance to experience with L.L. everything he’d thought he could’ve had with Renee—and who was the one walking
away this time?
He glowered as he continued packing on Sunday afternoon. L.L. was working on her new operational plans with Max and Len, though she’d agreed to come by Tague’s later in the evening.
He couldn’t help but think of how hurt she’d sounded when she’d told him her father had disappeared as soon as he’d heard he was going to have a child. And then her high school boyfriend had skipped out on her after four years together.
Now Tague was doing it?
A low groan blew from his lips. Fuck.
He could rationalize on one hand that he’d set his future in motion long before he’d met her. He could also contend on the other hand that futures were meant to be redefined with the ebb and flow of life. The changing tides.
If he had a third hand, he wouldn’t be so conflicted about having his cake and eating it, too.
But it was true what they said—sometimes life really was a bitch.
35