She added, “I swore, after he died, that I wouldn’t get tangled up in a man who lived his life to serve others. Who willing put himself in harm’s way.”
“I hear what you’re saying,” Damen assured her. “I wonder why, though, you’d put your own life at risk.”
“Perhaps I don’t feel as though I have anything to lose.”
His brow furrowed. “I suspect your friends Kate and Jude would beg to differ. As would your network of therapists, your SAR team and contacts. Your patients. Your parents.”
“Granted, my mother would worry incessantly about me if she weren’t so busy being the height of high-society. I guess it’s a good thing that’s her jam.”
He grinned. “I have no idea what that means.”
“Doesn’t matter. I know what you’re telling me, Damen. But helping people is what I do.”
“And I greatly admire that, Doc. You have to know that.”
She gave a slight nod.
This was one of those instances where the intentions got twisted up. Because as much as he respected her job, her nerves of steel, her determination and her desire to help others, Damen wanted her safe. She would be on the ops campus.
He wanted desperately to reiterate that.
And yet… He didn’t.
Instead, he took her hand and guided her out of the room and to his bed. Biting his tongue because he knew, to the depths of his soul, that what he wanted for Nikki was purely selfish. Even though he firmly believed she’d be a huge asset to the organization, what Nikki believed in was what mattered the most.
It might turn out to be him.
Then again… It might not.
But Damen sure as hell wasn’t throwing in the towel.
Well, he did whip his off before slipping between the sheets with Nikki.
Yet his mind still churned as to what steps to take next.
Primarily… How to make her his.
19
Nikki suffered a few moments of oh, my God, I’m really doing this as she settled into Damen’s big bed, with his hunky body behind her, spooning her, every inch melding to her.
Interspersed with those thoughts was the rush of guilt she’d certainly anticipated experiencing.
Then, a more molten feeling flowed through her veins, as Damen’s lips grazed her neck and his arms tightened around her.
Some extreme absolutes flitted through her mind.
One, she was safe here, on his estate, which she’d noted was highly monitored—probably infinitely beyond the extent her naked eye had taken in when she’d noted surveillance cameras upon their arrival.
Two, she was even more secure wrapped in his embrace. Which was warm and welcoming and so…intimate. Her muscles relaxed and she turned limp and languid in the cocoon he created for them.
Three, he had vowed to protect not only her, but her personal possessions—which primarily entailed her memories of Conner.
And something she’d noted along the way, which made her even more entangled in Damen, emotionally, was that he didn’t shy away from speaking of her deceased husband, of the man Damen knew she’d loved so d
esperately, she’d been thoroughly wrecked when she’d lost him.
Damen knew the extent of her devastation. He knew the extent of her affection for Conner.