He set the water tumbler on the bar and reached for the decanter of scotch. “Don’t even comment on serving me, Lily.” His voice took on a razor-sharp edge. He knew she wouldn’t defy him this time. He took a big gulp, then he said, “We were all together for a year. Lex and I were in love with Katarina. Make no mistake, it was very powerful. Powerful enough that we’re here now putting together a CD in her honor.”
Lily gave a slight nod to indicate she’d deduced as much.
Jax said, “She died, Lily. Suddenly. Ripped right from our hands. One day she was alive and in our arms. The next night she was lifeless in a hospital bed in Austria. Car accident. She’d been out with a friend, who lost control of the vehicle on a patch of ice. The friend died instantly. Katarina about five hours later.”
“Oh,” Lily said on a long breath. “Jax.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss as well. Deeply sorry.” He refreshed his drink and started to walk away again.
“Jax.” There was undeniable agony in her voice. It nearly shredded him.
Turning back to her once more, he asked, “Yes?”
But she clearly didn’t know what else to say to him. There were questions and emotions in her entrancing eyes, though.
So Jax said, “Don’t think of her, Lily.”
“How can I not? When you and Lex are playing music inspired by her?”
This made his brow furrow. There was a little spark at the back of his brain, but he wasn’t willing to acknowledge it. So he repeated, “Don’t think of her, Lily. She’s not here. You’re here.”
She opened her mouth to speak. No words came out.
But he could easily guess the one she was holding back.
Temporarily.
One more thing he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge, even though he was a man who rarely swept anything under the rug.
Still . . . in this instance, it was necessary.
Jax turned and left the room.
Chapter Ten
While Lex and Jax traveled into the city for a business meeting with their manager, Lily went
down to the beach. There was a craggy peninsula that she carefully navigated in her tennis shoes and jeans, not her heels and uniform.
Bayfront was a gorgeous community and she loved the crashing waves and the sound of the seagulls and the smell of the fresh air. She hoped it would all clear her mind.
What had happened the previous evening with Lex and Jax could very easily be classified as the sexiest, most intimate night of her life. And she’d be lying to herself if she said it’d just been about lust—that it hadn’t meant anything more. Because it had meant more. To her. A hell of a lot more.
And she suspected both men felt the same. She could see it in the way they’d looked at her this morning.
Prior to that, yes, they’d eyed her with obvious sexual interest. But what had started in the music room last night hadn’t just been about sex. Everything about the evening had been emotionally charged. An encounter she had no doubt would stay with all three of them. Forever.
As she sat on a rock at the water’s edge, she stared out at the whitecapped ocean and contemplated whether it was smart to continue on this journey.
The job. The affair. The actual relationship she was building with Lex and Jax.
Maybe it was safer and saner to just walk away from it all now. Before she got in any deeper with them. And vice versa.
They’d already been devastated once. And Lily wasn’t looking to stick around when she’d made plans that were so vitally important to her. This trip had been her entire focus since she’d started at the Cliff House. Before that, even.
She might be able to get her position back at the restaurant, if they had room on the schedule for her. Granted, it’d put Europe on hold for at least another year, since she wouldn’t be making the kind of money the butler position offered. And replenishing her savings would all be predicated on nothing else going awry, no more emergencies. And if she could find another apartment she could actually afford.
There was also the option of selling the gowns.