He sighed against her ear. “Jen, you should have told me.”
Tears crested the rims of her eyes. “It wouldn’t have changed the fact that I wanted to leave, Rafe. I needed to leave.”
He remained silent for a while and his body turned rigid. Then he forced her to face him. “You were thinking of Sampogna’s as an unofficial assignment when you decided to come back, weren’t you? Not a home you’d missed.”
“I don’t have a home.”
“Yes, you do, Jenna.” Releasing her, he stalked over to the wet bar and poured himself a glass of scotch.
She said, “Rafe, I’m here because I have the time to fill a void in your dining room, yes. But I’m also here because I’ve missed you.”
He took a big gulp and winced from the apparent burn. “I don’t get how I can know you so intimately and not know you at all.”
Jenna’s heart constricted. She said, “I’ve only let you know certain things about me.”
“And I should be furious about that. We were married, for God’s sake.” He let out a hollow laugh. Tension radiated from him. “But when I look at you, Jen… Jesus. I know I’d do it all again. Fall for you, despite the fact you don’t tell me a damn thing about yourself.”
“That’s not true, Rafe,” she insisted. “I told you all the time how I felt about you.”
He drained his glass and scrubbed a hand down his face. Then he pinned her with an intent look and said, “Tell me now.”
Her chest heaved. “Rafe.”
“Tell me what it is that you miss about me, Jen. Why you’re really here. In San Francisco. The restaurant. My loft.”
Jenna’s lips pressed together. Endless moments passed and she mentally urged herself to relax a little, so she could continue to breathe properly. And because telling Rafe how he made her feel—and how she felt about him—had never been a problem. Not in the least.
She closed the gap between them and splayed her hands over his chest. Gazing up at him, she earnestly said, “There was never anyone before you, Rafe. You know that.”
“You were a virgin when we met. A rather adventurous one. There wasn’t anything you wouldn’t let me do to you.”
A dull ache in her pussy caused her to say, “There still isn’t anything I wouldn’t let you do to me.” Her fingers swept lightly over the hard ledge of his pectoral muscles. “I’ve always wanted you, from the moment we met.”
His jaw tightened.
Jenna said, “There hasn’t been anyone since you, either.”
His brow furrowed. “In three years, Jen? You haven’t been with another man since the divorce?”
“Rafe.” She let out a long breath. “There won’t ever be anyone else. There can’t be. No one could ever make me feel the way you do. And I simply can’t fathom another man’s hands on my body. Still belongs to you, even though we’re not together.”
“Jen.” His hands cupped her face and he stared deep into her eyes. “Do you have any idea how badly I want to kiss you?”
Her gaze didn’t waver, either. “Do it. I wanted it last night, Rafe, despite knowing it was wrong. I want it now. It’s still wrong, but…”
“How is this wrong?” he quietly demanded.
“I don’t want you deluding yourself. Mistaking my being here as something permanent. I want you so much that every inch of me aches, but in two weeks, Rafe… I will be gone.”
His beautiful blue irises clouded, but he didn’t look away. He said, “You’re here now.”
And she knew exactly what lay behind those words. He intended to convince her to stay.
Try to convince her to stay.
“Rafe, please don’t fantasize about something that won’t happen. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I will leave. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. I learned the hard way that I can’t change that part of me—you learned it right along with me.”
“I know. I just…” He shook his head. “I just want you to live in the moment with me. Here. Now. Can you do that, sweetheart?”