Always (Always & Forever 1)

"Whatever! You're the hottest, silver-haired fox around. I want you naked all the time." Avery tugged Kane back against him and slid his hands underneath Kane's shirt. "Actually, why wait till Thursday, I want you naked right now…"

"Baby, you have to get ready for your speech tomorrow…" Kane began, but Avery cut him off by tugging his shirt over his head.

"And you have to lead a Bible study class in two hours. We need to get started so you aren't late." Avery captured Kane's lips with his and pushed his man backward through their home, to the bedroom, where he purposefully left the door open.

Chapter 31

Present Day

The waiting was the absolute worst. For Kane, the minutes ticked by incredibly slowly. The hospital staff stayed vigilant to his needs, as did Autumn, who'd sat in the same chair by the waiting room window, holding his hand, for the last few hours. Autumn worked hard to keep Kane talking, never letting the crazy, scary thoughts of Avery's surgery take too much root in his mind. She helped, even though he never stopped the ongoing prayer running through his head. God, please keep Avery safe and here with me. Please.

"Daddy, I was thinking of redecorating my living room. I like the fall colors this year. I think I could live with those for a few years. What do you think?" Autumn asked, drawing his attention back to her.

"I think you should have gone into interior design instead of law," Kane said, patting her hand with his own.

"Probably, but I wouldn't have gotten to work with Dad had I done that," she said and cut her anxious eyes up to Kane's. The entire afternoon she had concentrated on keeping the topics of conversation flowing and not centered just on Avery. She was perfect that way. It was also why she had made such an amazing assistant district attorney. Avery had been proud of that accomplishment.

"It's okay, baby. I wish they would give us an update. I don't know why this is taking so long," Kane said, and as if on cue, the waiting room door opened. Like so many other times today, Kane steeled his heart, bucked up his spine, and prayed there were positive, smiling physicians there, not the hospital aides coming to check on them again.

He got one part right.

A team of doctors came through the door still dressed in scrubs from head to toe. Each entered, holding the door for the one behind them. Robert was nowhere to be seen. Autumn stood first, and Kane rose at a slower pace, his eyes staying trained on the doctors. They wouldn't make eye contact with either of them. What did that mean? Kane's breath hitched, he tripped, stumbling when he tried to get to his feet. Robert had been the last physician to enter the waiting room. He was tugging the cap off his head when his red-rimmed eyes connected with Kane's.

Kane stopped. He held his breath as everything around him stilled as if he were standing alone in the middle of the waiting room instead of surrounded by people. Everything he never wanted to hear, never wanted to know, was held in his son's gaze.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry. They did everything they could. He didn't make…" Robert started, but his voice broke, unable to say the last few words. The weight of Robert's unspoken words registered in his mind, crushing him. Avery. Oh, God, his Avery…gone.

Surprisingly, his legs held him upright. Although, he wasn't sure how long that would last. Instinctively, his hands went to his face, covering the flow of tears that erupted as his heart dropped from his chest and shattered into a thousand little pieces on the beige and honey-limestone floor of the waiting room. Pieces that Avery had held together, pieces that could never be put back right, pieces that would remain lost forever.

No, this wasn't real! This couldn't be happening. They had so much planned, so many dreams still ahead of them. No…No! Kane could see the doctors and his family advancing on him. Could see their mouths moving, but no sounds penetrated his ears. Silence. Deafening silence consumed him. He became dizzy, confused, and he stepped back a step or two, needing air. He reached behind him, feeling for a chair. He needed something to steady himself, because he was sitting down, even if that meant on the cold hard hospital floor. Hard plastic met his hand, and he dropped into the seat, lowering his head between his legs as he gasped for breath. He couldn't pull enough air into his lungs. Did he even want to? He'd lost his everything; he'd lost his reason to live.

He'd lost Avery.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry," Autumn said. He could hear the tears in her voice and accepted the hand trying to grip his. She was on her knees beside him, her tear-filled eyes searching his. Those were Avery's eyes, Autumn had Avery's eyes. He reached out, drawing her into his embrace.

Take care of our family… Avery's last words to him echoed in his head.

He looked up to see Robert standing close by, his hands clasping his and Autumn's shoulders. The three of them were now alone in the waiting room, everyone else had vanished at some point after the news had been given. Kane lifted an arm and pulled Robert down into the hug he shared with Autumn. The hold was intense, heartening, needed, and they stayed like that for several long minutes, not moving, just existing. Robert was the first to break from the hold. He left only to immediately reappear, tissues in hand.

Autumn remained tucked under his arm, holding him tightly. Tears poured from her eyes, streaking down her cheeks, but her sole focus was on him. She seemed more concerned about his welfare than hers.

"Was he in any pain?" Kane asked and took a small drink from the water bottle Robert insisted he hold.

"No, sir," Robert said. Kane nodded through the tears.

"Good. I wouldn't want him in pain." Kane wiped at the tears that blurred his vision even as more tissues were shoved into his hand. "Has anyone called Kennedy?"