The doorbell broke into his thoughts, making him aware Kennedy still chatted away behind him. He hadn't heard a word she'd said. Actually, he'd completely forgotten she was in the kitchen. Kane turned away, not interested in trying to catch up with her conversation as the doorbell chimed again insistently. He tightened the sash at his waist, ran his fingers through his hair again, then headed for the front of the house. He opened the door just as the delivery driver turned away to retreat back down the steps. The young kid waved a good-bye and hopped back in his van. A bouquet of calla lilies sat at Kane's feet. A smile tugged at his lips. His favorite flower—and these were tipped in the lightest of pink. They were beautiful.
Kane picked up the vase and brought the flowers to his nose, breathing them in. Most people said calla lilies had no fragrance. He always disagreed, picking up the faintest of clean, sweet, floral scents. Pain slashed again across his heart as he recalled sending a similar bouquet to Avery after his first dinner at La Bella Luna. The tears started to roll down his cheeks as he looked closer at the blooms. There was no way whoever sent them could have known this arrangement was his favorite or that it had been the one he'd chosen to use when he'd apologized to Avery all those years ago. The pain of Avery's loss rolled through him again, becoming too much. He closed the front door behind him and set the flowers on the nearest end table, grabbing a tissue from the box beside them. It was then he noticed a notecard hidden among the flowers, having missed it amid the beautiful blooms.
"Kane" was scribbled across the front of the envelope—in Avery's handwriting. His heart stopped in his chest, and his hands shook as he opened the card.
My love,
If you're reading this, that means I'm no longer there with you and that worries me more than you know. The idea of leaving you is almost more than I can bear, so I'm going to leave that thought right there and move on to more important things.
I've told you so many times how much I love you. Please remember that every single day for the rest of your life. You are my everything, you hold my heart and carry my soul. You made my life better. My only regret was not meeting you sooner, so we could have had more time together in this life.
Please make sure Autumn and Robert have what they need. I've taken care of them financially, but I'm sure you know that by now. Let them know how much I love and cherish them, how much I love our family, and how proud I am of who they've become as people. Please look in on my mother. She won't allow you to take care of her, but please visit her often. I love her very much, too.
These flowers will keep coming so you know how much I truly love you. I tried to come close to the ones you sent me all those years ago. I'm not sure if you even remember them, but I do. What a special memory that has been. And what a beautiful life I had the honor of sharing with you.
I know I'm waiting for you. Take your time, do what you need to do there, but I know I'm wherever I'm supposed to be, waiting for you to walk beside me again for all eternity. You are my soul, my always. Never doubt that for a single moment.
I'm crying, Kane, and I haven't even left you yet. I'm not afraid to die, but I am afraid of leaving you.
I'll be waiting.
I love you always,
A
Kane read and re-read the note before he stared disbelievingly at the paper in his hand.
"Son, what is it?" Kennedy said from behind him. It took a minute, but he handed her the note, his eyes focused on her face as she read each word. He recognized the minute she read Avery's words to her. The poised, always together matriarch of the family began to cry. When she was finished reading, she turned away, hiding herself as she handed the note back to Kane.
"Thank you for staying so long, Kennedy, but I think you should go home now," Kane said, gathering the flowers and holding Avery's note tight against his chest.
"I believe I should too," Kennedy said. Her voice broke as she walked away from him, back into the kitchen. "He loved you, Kane. You can never doubt that, but you have to find a way to go on, Son. Avery wouldn't like seeing you like this."
She was right. Avery would hate to see him this way, but he couldn't seem to find a way to move on. He didn't respond to her. Instead, he went back into his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He placed the bouquet on his nightstand and kept the note in his hand, reading the words over and over again.
Chapter 34
Seven weeks later
Kane sat on his back porch, listening to the birds chirp and letting the cool spring breeze blow across his skin, ruffling his hair. He tightened the sweater around his chest. Avery's latest bouquet had arrived this morning, about the same time Autumn had come to check on him. She called the unexpected visit 'time alone' with her father, but Kane knew her true motivation. These unannounced visits were growing in frequency, and the frowns were more pronounced each time the children stopped by. Kane tried to care, tried to ease their worry, but apparently no matter what he said or did, they had their own thoughts and nothing seemed to make them feel any better once they'd arrived.
"Daddy, come eat," Autumn called from the kitchen. Kane was slow to respond, apparently slower than she liked, and she stuck her head out the back door. "Would you rather eat out here on the patio?"