Keyes slid his thumb over his screensaver. Seventeen missed text messages, but no missed calls. He pushed the messages icon, opening the text messages to see his father’s cell phone number. Anxiety double timed it throughout his body, waking his ass right up. Nothing good could come from looking at anything his shitty old man had sent. His father was a fuck-with-his-head kind of guy, and Keyes was already dealing with a growing mountain of emotional bullshit with Alec’s I-love-you confession last night.
Don’t do it. Do not open the messages.
Keyes pulled his finger away from the screen and lifted his gaze to the bedroom ceiling. His life was already so fucked with trying to balance the secrecy of Alec along with his responsibilities to the bike club and the day-to-day operations of the tire shop. He was seriously living on the edge all the damn time. He didn’t need any more baggage weighing his stressed-out ass down. And since his brothers would never understand his relationship with an assistant district attorney, one of Keyes’s biggest worries involved Alec’s safety.
But the texts could be a warning. No, his old man would never warn him of a pending strike, but that bad temper would get the best of him and he wouldn’t be able to hold back. He’d most definitely ridicule Keyes, and that would give him all the heads up he needed to keep Alec safe.
Keyes nodded to himself, lifted a finger, and swiped to open the message.
“god 4 nothing cocksuker cant keep me from a buiznes I fuckin started.”
Keyes let out a breath. Same old shit. He refused to read any more, not sure why it had taken his father this long to complain about being kept away from the tire shop. Instead, he went through the steps of blocking his old man from further text messages and deleting all the messages he’d ever sent. He should have done that a long time ago.
Honestly, he’d been surprised Fox, his motorcycle club’s president, had kept such a tight hold on his father, also a patched-in member of the club. It had been six months since Keyes had kicked his abusive father to the curb. Of course, he saw his old man at the clubhouse, in all their meetings, and sometimes when they rode out together, but his father had remarkably kept his distance. Keyes just had to put up with his offensive mouth. It was honestly a miracle the man had voted for Keyes to become a full patch member. He always wondered what kind of deal Fox had made with his father to get his acceptance vote.
This morning’s timing though…yeah, that seemed cosmic. The fact that his old man picked today to start shit again—there was no coincidence there. Keyes dropped the phone on the mattress and lifted his head to look down at Alec. Even sleeping, Alec was the most beautiful man in the world—his sunny blond looks just did it for him. Keyes’s arm tightened around Alec in protection. Alec was so damn special to the world—his life mattered. He had meaning and purpose. He made a difference to mankind. If good versus evil existed, Alec landed in the top side of good. Keyes went the exact opposite direction. Even on his best day, he lived his life firmly on the side of evil.
Why Alec had confessed his love last night, Keyes wasn’t sure, but he believed Alec or at least he wanted to. He couldn’t remember one person ever saying I love you to him before. His heart had lapped up every single syllable. Keyes remembered in vivid detail the way Alec moved inside him, owning him body and soul as he spoke softly. Closing his eyes, he could hear the exact tone of Alec’s voice, the haggard whisper against his ear when he’d confessed his love. The shudder that had gone through Alec’s body as he’d held him so tight as if Alec’s life depended on Keyes staying right there by his side… He’d have that moment etched in his heart forever.
Keyes hadn’t said anything in return, but he’d fucking wanted to, so damn bad. He’d been a foolish coward. Alec needed to hear his feelings. Even after having too much to drink, his lifelong survival skill of self-preservation kept him quiet. The sweet and generous Alec had pushed and pushed, fighting to keep them together from the very first day they had met. Even knowing that, Keyes had still held his tongue, refusing to give anything back to this extraordinary man, because ultimately, Alec deserved someone better than Keyes.
He was a self-centered ass.
What the fuck was he doing?
The headache from too much drinking last night compounded with all his overthinking this morning started creeping in as an overwhelming sadness took over his heart. Keyes had let things go too far between them. This whole deal was supposed to be him taking advantage of a rich guy who liked to slum it—end of story. Now they were six or so months in, and he was spending at least two nights every week in Alec’s bed, and Alec was fucking him—which he liked a whole damn lot—and now whispering words of love—which he liked a whole lot too.