“I know you’re holdin’ your tongue, Keyes, but I know you too well. This is gonna eat at you. There’s a lot you don’t know. I’ve warred with myself about how much to say for years. I still don’t know what’s right.” This time, Fox clamped his mouth together then shook his head, staring down at the table while growing visibly frustrated. “Look, you have to know, the likelihood of you bein’ his biological son is highly unlikely. There’s no easy way to say this, but dammit, things were different back then. It was almost thirty years ago. This newfound consciousness we do things with wasn’t around back then. You know that. Your mother was a club whore. She just was. We all fuckin’ passed her around. I suspect your real old man was probably Bigun. She had a thing for him. Destroyed her when he died. Smoke was fuckin’ obsessed with her, but she never gave a shit about him and that drove him batshit crazy.”
Keyes jaw ticced at his frustration over the trip down memory lane. That shit needed to stay in the past. No good would come from reliving one single day of his history.
“Suppose you’d’ve had a better life had he lived, but Smoke ended up marryin’ your mother when she found out she was pregnant. I’m only tellin’ you this to say, give me time. You need to keep your distance. I know it’s askin’ a lot. You’re as much a member of this club as your old man, but he’s sick, his days are numbered, and he’s my brother just like you’re a son to me. I’m askin’ too much, Keyes, I swear to God I am, but hang on for me. I depend on you. I need you to help lead this club for the next generation. Give me time.” Fox’s tormented gaze finally lifted to Keyes’s.
He was essentially being banished. Any other member would have demanded more respect but that never seemed to apply to Keyes. He immediately squelched those thoughts, pushed them way down like he always did. Keyes understood what Fox meant and where all of this was headed. Once again, he accepted the decision, and agreed to distance himself to help save the balance in the club. He guessed this was Fox’s way of appreciating his efforts and asking for him to continue a little while longer.
“I’ve never asked for anything to be different than it is. I get it.”
“You sure about that? You’re always quiet, but more so now,” Fox said, scanning Keyes’s face. He had no idea what to say to that. Maybe there was a time this conversation would have upset him, proven to him that he never truly fit with the club members he called family, but not now. Fox had given him a free pass to keep his distance a little while longer.
“My old man can have his final days however y’all see fit. I’ll be around when you need me. I think the tire shop’s pullin’ in its share of the cash. I’m good. You know how to find me. I’m loyal to you, you know that,” Keyes declared and gave his standard single nod, driving his point home.
“You’ve always been a top earner for us. It’s more that I feel like I’ve failed you,” Fox said, again pushing back in the seat. Keyes busted out with an honest laugh as he rose to his feet. It was the mood lightener they both seemed to need.
“I don’t feel that way at all. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” The honesty of those words had Keyes reaching for the back of the chair, pushing it underneath the table. “So, I’m guessin’ I don’t need to be here tonight?”
“No, you don’t. Your old man’s movin’ into the clubhouse tonight, so we can watch him until we can’t anymore. He’ll be livin’ here. It’s where he wants to be.”
Keyes nodded and still refused to ask any of the half-dozen questions he had about the diagnosis or about how much time he had left.
“I’ll tell the guys you’re keepin’ distance for him. They’ll understand.”
“Thanks for this,” he said, patting his breast pocket as he started for the door.
“You earned it. I heard you picked up Dev last night,” Fox said about his son, Devilman, as he got to his feet.
“Word gets around,” he replied, pulling open the door.
“Hold up, Keyes.”
He turned back to Fox as he walked up to him with outstretched arms. He enveloped Keyes in a rare fatherly hug that ended with a solid pat on his back. “He never deserved you. You watched out for him, took care of him. It’s all any of us can hope for from our children.”
It took a second for Keyes to finally hug him back then he avoided eye contact as he turned to leave church. He wasn’t certain he was worthy of Fox’s praise.