Closet Confession

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Justin changed into his street clothes before grabbing a bottle of orange juice from the staff lounge. He sent a short text to Derek, letting him know he was heading out. He’d gotten his work done quickly, not having to stay on too much longer after the shift change. Derek had been on duty longer than anyone this shift, so he figured he was long gone by now.

Justin planned to stop by their favorite bakery on his way home to get Derek his beloved beignets, even though he had said he would do it. He should have just volunteered to grab both the dog food and powdered treats when they talked earlier. He’d have to remember to help do those little things in the future. Derek had earned a little tender love from the years of keeping up their home in his absence. His lover had always made his time home from deployments special. That thought caused Justin to lower his head and smile to himself. The private sector did have its own distinct advantages—hot closet sex with the man you love helped to break up a long night shift like nothing else could. That memory had his smile growing.

The grin turned to longing as he got lost in his thoughts again. He registered the goodbyes and friendly smiles as he wound his way through the hallways to the side entrance he always used. The sun was just beginning its day as he passed by the floor to ceiling windows.

His mind centered on the recurring daydream that took up residence in his head during his downtime. It was a longtime fantasy, one that held him through the lonely times when he’d been in the middle of BFE on deployment and separated from Derek for months on end. He’d never shared this with anyone, not even Derek. But the dream had to do with beachside property, loads of sun, big buckets full of beer, and him and Derek, naked in the surf. Inappropriate thoughts flooded his brain as they always seemed to do when he focused on Derek. But damn, his lover sure would look good wearing nothing but sand and that sexy grin.

His cheeks heated and his cock started to plump just as his phone vibrated, causing his steps to falter. He pulled it from his pocket and smiled as he looked down at the blinking screen. On a whim, trying for something out of character, he’d sent Derek a quick text that contained only a heart emoji. Justin was still flying high from the tryst they’d shared earlier. He wanted to let Derek know he was thinking about him and what they’d done in the old supply closet. Justin hurriedly opened the text.

“Where are you?” Derek texted. Justin was just about to the side door exit when he stopped and stepped aside, away from the foot traffic in the busy hall, while he responded.

“Leaving, where are you? Did you get the dog food?” Justin texted.

“I’m waiting on you. We need to talk this morning.” Justin read the words. His heart plunged as he read them again. Okay, that didn’t sound good.

“What about?” he quickly typed back.

“Us. Can you meet me at home real quick? I need to see my aunt afterward.” What did us mean? The happy feelings of a minute ago faded as Derek’s recent attitude resurfaced. They’d been perfectly in sync during their time spent in the closet less than two hours ago. The sadness Derek carried around the last couple of weeks had vanished during those few short minutes. He thought the closet sex might have made things better. What had happened since then to require a talk?

“Just tell me,” Justin finally typed. His heart hammered in his chest. Why did this feel like he was being dumped? This had been his biggest fear since they first met. Okay, not since they first met, but from when he realized Derek wanted more than just a one-night stand. He’d hidden behind the military and he’d let that restrict them, always worrying when Derek would eventually get sick of him and that lifestyle. He shockingly never had, but the truth that he’d never shared was that he always felt unworthy. Justin loved Derek. There was no doubt about that. Derek was his world. But he’d felt that the relationship he had with Derek was a pipedream. Something that could all be ripped away if he got too complacent. All those years in the military, he had waited for the shoe to drop and Derek to find someone better suited for him. He didn’t know why because the man had never once given him a reason to feel anything but secure. It was just his own fucked up way of thinking that made him feel undeserving. Now that he’d let his guard down and allowed himself to envision their long life together, Derek was finally going to let him go?