Alec stepped out on the dimly lit deck. He’d seen Blaine out there earlier, but he was gone now. When the door closed behind him, Alec closed his eyes taking a deep breath, centering himself in the momentary quiet. Feeling a little better, Alec opened his eyes to the same reality as before, nothing had changed.
He went to the rail, looking around for a way out. Dammit. Not willing to risk being pulled into another mindless conversation, Alec abandoned his plan for his cell phone and moved to the edge of the deck, out of the direct glow of outside lighting. Hidden in shadows, he anchored his elbows on the side of the rail, staring out over the well-manicured backyard. The night’s moon cast its glow on acres of flat land for as far as the eye could see. Just him, some possible cattle in the distance, and the man in the moon above. For January, it sure was pleasant outside.
Damn, he wished he had his phone.
“My dad says he’s gay.”
Alec’s gaze lifted to the small balcony above him. The declaration came from a younger girl, maybe a tween, possibly a little older.
“No way. He’s so hot.” And apparently, she had friends—multiple, based on the gasps of astonishment.
“That’s what Dad says. And that other guy that came with him, I think that’s his boyfriend, not really his work associate,” she said with all authority.
“He brings his boyfriend out here?”
Okay, they might be older. That was a valid question. Intolerant, ill-informed, small-minded people seemed the only type of person living in this county. So, yes, indeed, gay could seem shocking.
“I guess. Maybe that’s why they act like they work together. I don’t know.”
Alec turned back to the field, swallowing the inner groan, knowing he was the only possible target of their attention.
“How does your dad deal with that?” Yep, she had to be older, and Alec nodded his agreement. That was a really good question.
“I don’t know. My mom says he’s like their token gay, so they keep him around to show that they aren’t really bigots or sexist or racist or whatever that makes them. Something like that.”
“Yeah.”
That had his brows furrowing. What did “yeah” mean? But it was said in a chorus of voices, so it had to be some sort of young teen speak.
“Girls, Sheriff Black’s leaving. Go downstairs…”
Alec listened as the girls scurried inside and a door shut, closing him off in relative silence again. He drew in a deep breath. If young girls could so easily pick up on what was going on around him, why had it taken him so long? Alec sighed. Because he didn’t want to believe his calculating family would change their tune for a few meager votes.
Yet, they had. There was his bottom line.
Even now, Alec wasn’t ready to admit that the two people who had given him life were also the two who’d kept him hidden from the public for the majority of that life. They’d rarely included him in family outings. Yeah, it had hurt, but the lingering pain had long since turned to a distant ache he could easily push away. He had spent most Christmas breaks with his grandparents. His parents had even encouraged him to keep thinking with a patronizing pat to the knee when he finally had the nerve to share his sexual orientation.
His stomach turned at the very idea. Alec had been ignorant in accepting his parents’ change of heart. And it seemed he planned to continue on that path, staying complacent, allowing himself to be used…especially if it meant their continued acceptance. Alec shook his head. His mother and father were his weakness. Always had been. He didn’t feel so isolated and alone anymore, even if shame laced his new self-image.
“Alec, are you there?”
Thankful for the break in such unwanted thoughts, Alec gladly turned to the welcoming voice of his mentor, the ray of light in his otherwise dark night. Judge Sawyer. At his father’s insistence, Alec had been a judicial intern in Sawyer’s courtroom in Washington. He liked the man. Sawyer spoke the truth and believed in honesty. Two of Alec’s favorite qualities.
“Yes, sir. I am.”
“These things always bore me to tears.” The older man waved a hand behind him to indicate the party as he came forward. He pulled out a cigarette, offering one to Alec.
“No, sir. That’s one bad habit I’ve never started.”
“Smart boy.” The judge leaned against the ledge, lighting the cigarette. He took a long drag, breathing in deeply as Alec turned back to the yard, leaning his elbows on the railing, hands clasped together. “You’re good at playing the game. Not as good as your father or grandfather, but he’s lucky to have you.”
Alec gave a humorless laugh, especially after his latest round of self-deprecating thoughts. His own need to escape to this deck proved he wasn’t cut from the same political cloth as his family.