With his back still to Key, he started another way. “You’re here for sex. That’s fine. But I expected to hear from you last time.” Definitely an understatement, but still true.
The shadows moving across his living room, rather than any noise made, told him Key drew closer.
“Why didn’t you call?” Alec closed his eyes and lowered his head. His voice sounded needy even to him. Now he knew the effort he’d made to squash all this hurt that filled his heart.
“I…”
“I need more than that, Key.” Alec turned to see Key’s shoulders drop. “Alexa, turn on the living room lamps.” The soft glow revealed the insecurity in Key’s gaze. That confused Alec. He’d expected to see arrogance, detachment, lust, even anger. Not…self-doubt. “I’ve been nothing but forthcoming and honest with you… For full disclosure, I was into you when you left last time. I waited for your call. When you didn’t… Well, I…”
Key nodded.
What did that mean? Ready to throw caution to the wind, Alec made himself continue. “I need an explanation. It won’t change things tonight. We can fuck, if that’s all you came for. I just need to understand how I monumentally misread what was going on between us last time.”
Key started to speak. Nothing came out. He cleared his throat and stared Alec straight in the eye as he said, “You didn’t misread anything.”
Alec nodded calmly, but chaos erupted inside him. What did that mean?
“Please,” Alec muttered.
Key came toward him, and Alec held out a hand, stopping this beautiful man inches from his palm. It would be so easy to extend his fingers and touch Key’s chest.
“All the weird unexplained feelings I’ve heard from my friends in new relationships, I experienced with you. I get we’re not in a relationship. I understand this is terrible timing. I’m not asking for a commitment—we can’t escape our worlds right now, but a phone call shouldn’t have been too much to hope for.”
“You’re a lawyer. My club’s all I got…” Key stopped speaking and looked away, frustration flashing on his handsome face. “That’s not it.” The anger that Alec had seen in the news footage was back on Key’s face. It gave Alec a moment of pause, silencing him as a trickle of awareness wormed its way past the intense attraction he experienced. “I freaked because it’s like I’m so much… I don’t know, like I’m less than you. I wanted you from the first night I saw you, but second-guessin’ myself stops me until I can’t take it anymore.”
The whiplash of all these emotions held Alec’s tongue and made him hesitate. Attraction, fear, now confusion mixed with the need to comfort Key made Alec unsure how to move past everything. But then Key took charge, taking the decision from him. He grabbed Alec’s hand in his, tenderly holding him as he stepped forward. Key stole Alec’s glass, drinking down the straight vodka in one long gulp then placed the palm of Alec’s hand over Key’s heart. Alec could feel the strong thumping while Key threaded their fingers together, keeping his palm pressed there.
“I tried to stay away. I swear to God I did. Tell me to get lost. We both know it’d be for the best.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that. How long have you been here?” Alec asked, taking in his fill of Key standing inside his living room, where he should have been every damn day for the last three weeks.
“Since about six thirty.” Key had waited for him for hours. Alec stepped into the man, chest to chest, not quite touching, but he could feel Key’s body heat. Key’s broad chest heaved with each breath as his gaze bored into Alec’s. The heavy burden Key seemed to carry lifted with each truthful confession he gave. “I’ve been a wreck.”
“Me too.” Alec tilted his chin, and Key met him halfway. Before their mouths met, Alec turned away. Desperation, maybe the fear of consequences, kept him at a distance. More than ever, he wanted a repeat of the spiritual awakening that seemed just beyond his grasp. “I want this to continue. You have to call me or make contact next time.”
Key nodded solemnly. “You can call me too.”
Key’s hand slid into Alec’s hair, drawing the man back to his lips. The intensity of the kiss slammed into him. He’d been surprised at how much he’d truly missed this man. Missed his scent, his firm calming touch, those eager lips.
From the first press of Key’s mouth to his, he felt it: the connection, the hold Key’s heart held on his. He’d been stupid to think going on a date would get this man out of his system. Yeah, he’d been so wrong.
Alec didn’t say a word as he broke from the kiss, took Key’s hand, and led him to the bedroom.