“Not without you,” he said with more accusation than he’d intended. “What’s going on?”
Grant glanced over his shoulder, his eyes not quite meeting Easton’s. As quickly as the tangled slacks around Grant’s legs would allow, Easton turned his lover by the shoulder. All the hurt and uncertainty he’d been sensing was there in the way Grant held his body and hid his face. Easton pressed closer, running his finger under Grant’s chin, wanting him to lift his eyes so he could better read what was truly going on with his man.
With a heavy exhale, Easton angled Grant’s head until Grant was forced to look him in the eyes. The pain Grant had been shielding from him was right there, finally floating to the surface, making it easy for him to see. This explained all the extra drinking Grant had been doing lately. “Tell me.”
Grant had never been particularly easy to get information from. When Grant started to shake his head, Easton pushed his chest to the center of Grant’s, knocking him back against the door. “’Fess up. I tell you everything. We’re in this together. I took our vows seriously. Let me be there for you.”
Those pale eyes pinned Easton as Grant opened his mouth to speak. But nothing came out. There was frustration crinkling that handsome brow as he closed his lips tight, and his jaw ticced from how hard he ground his teeth. Easton waited, not giving his mister a break, he needed for him to spill it right here and now so they could work together to solve whatever problem Grant had. Seconds passed before Grant drew in a deep breath then averted his gaze and spoke low, the telling tone proving the depth of truth in Grant’s words.
“I don’t really know. I feel inadequate as hell. I can’t keep going like this. Every day is getting harder and harder. I think I gotta go back to work.”
Blindsided. Those words came out of nowhere. He hadn’t seen that coming—it was a total shock. Easton eased off Grant’s chest, leaning a couple inches backward, feeling as if the rug had been ripped out from underneath him. “Why? We don’t need the money. I love you being home when I come home. The dogs are thriving. They love you being home too. I thought you didn’t like all the long hours and traveling you had to do.”
The bathroom sex was all but forgotten as Easton tried to understand where all this uncertainty stemmed from. He, for one, sure as hell hadn’t liked all the long work hours Grant put in for his company. They used Grant’s good nature and incredible linguistic skills, sending him all over the world at a moment’s notice with not even a thank-you or decent holiday bonus.
“Not making my own way’s messing with me.” The sound of decisions already made drew instant regret from Easton. This last six weeks had been heaven as far as he’d been concerned. Of course, he’d support Grant in whatever decision he came to. He’d meant every word of the vows he’d taken, but Easton loved coming home to his man and their two little female Boston Terriers, Millie and Mae-Mae. They were a family.
He even found himself leaving his office early most days, leaving work unfinished just to get home to his waiting family. Grant recently started cooking, so he had dinner and a cocktail ready for Easton when he walked through the door. Grant’s kind nature had him always stopping whatever he was doing to give Easton a special welcome home kiss. He loved their life.
“My division called me today. My old boss’s leaving the company. They invited me to apply for his job.” Grant’s gaze lowered probably due to the look etched on Easton’s face. Easton kept his hands in a tight fist to keep from pulling Grant’s gaze back up.
He wanted to insist his lover at least stare him in the eye as he broke his heart. His mind raced, trying to find any possible way to solve this problem. He was proud of Grant, but Easton hated all the lonely nights and holidays the position cheated him out of.
He could only speak from the heart, devastated at the idea of losing Grant again for weeks at a time when he would have to travel for work. “I love the dinners you make us. You have a real culinary talent that’s just getting better and better. I love our casual evenings together. I love sitting out on the patio, holding you in my arms, watching the stars come out as Millie and Mae play. I love just being with you. If you need something to do, come to my office. I’m certain there’s something we need your help with.” Easton frantically thought about the possibility of foreign legal briefs. His firm had been dabbling in international law, perhaps Grant could interpret…