Forever (Always & Forever 2)

“My uncle told me they get the steak where the rest of the branches get the hamburger. Few things beat a nice thick juicy steak in my book,” he answered honestly before putting another bite in his mouth. It had truly been that simple of a decision.

“Okay, that’s funny even if I felt my arteries clog from just the mention of red meat. I understand the Air Force isn’t easy to get into.”

“That’s what they kept telling me. They kept pushing me away until I scored in the ninetieth percentile on the ASVAB.” His chest swelled with the accomplishment, still proud to this day of his test score on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. He’d gotten major bragging rights that he used when needed.

“So, what do you do?” Dr. Adams asked, lifting his fork in the air, prompting Landon to say more while he ate.

“I work intel.” What a simple word for something so complex. Dr. Adams furrowed his brow again. This time, Landon could see the unasked questions forming.

In the end, he didn’t ask any of them and just said, “I have a feeling you’re more complicated than you let on.”

“If that’s a nice way to say you don’t see me as a fit in the Air Force, I’ll admit, it’s been a struggle.” Landon couldn’t help the genuine laugh that rumbled in his chest. He’d done well, but he had left a trail of frustrated superiors beating their heads against walls. “It’s my nature to go against authority, but I sure don’t like to be looked down on. I got my bachelor’s degree last fall. I made Tech Sergeant. That’s how all of this happened with my arm. I was celebrating to the extreme.”

“Hmm.” There was silence between them as they regarded one another, and from the look, Dr. Adams was still trying to figure him out. Landon took another bite, bigger than he probably should have, just to give himself a little longer to gather his thoughts.

“Since I’m putting it all out there, I should probably say, I’ve read all your father’s books. I have a signed copy of The Man I Am. I waited in line for seven hours for that signature.” Landon picked up his glass of water, stopping short of taking a drink. “My fucking phone lost battery and I didn’t get a picture.” He confessed that with all the irritation of the moment coming back in a whoosh of frustration. The drink of water didn’t help wash away the bad taste that memory caused.

“Really?” Dr. Adams seemed oblivious to Landon’s agitation and stopped eating, the fork dropping into the almost finished bowl of salad. He looked and sounded totally shocked.

“I did. I give your father credit for making me pull my shit together,” he stated with all sincerity. He used his fork to push the meat around his plate as memory after memory of his struggles as a youth played out in his head. After a moment’s pause, he took the last bite, wishing like crazy there was more left of the meal.

“You’re blowing smoke up my ass,” Dr. Adams finally said, reaching for his fork, clearly dismissing the comment as he dug back into his salad.

“No, I’m seriously not. I was acting out, bad. I should be in prison right now—I was headed there. I didn’t understand what was going on with me. I was confused and felt so alone. I couldn’t accept myself. I was angry and scared as shit. My uncle gave me your dad’s first book. It changed my life. I’m gay and your father made me see it was okay. I wasn’t alone anymore. I give him all the credit for everything turning out okay with me,” he replied honestly, scrubbing the napkin over his whiskered face before tossing it on the empty plate.

This time, Dr. Adams sat back in his seat. Landon felt the intensity in the doctor’s stare as he watched him, the salad in his lap seemingly forgotten. “It’s not the first time I’ve heard something along those lines, but I’m surprised to hear it here. So, you know I’m gay?”

“Yeah. I wondered how you felt about him writing about you.” For the second time since Dr. Adams had arrived, Landon felt a kinship with the man, if for nothing more than the reverent respect Landon had placed on the entire Adams family. The Adams men were gay, but that didn’t define them. It was a side note to their extraordinary lives, a lesson Landon had really needed to learn. “Your childhood was anything but the norm, but from what I read, you seemed really well adjusted and happy.”

“As hard as it is to believe, I lived a very normal life. I grew up probably more sheltered than most kids, but that was out of necessity. They kept us—me and my sister—in a little bubble, safe and secure away from the negativity. I grew up in a home filled with love and respect for each other. My daddy, Kane—he was very protective of us. He gave up everything important to him to become a buffer between us and the hatred aimed at my family. Autumn and I knew some people weren’t happy with two men raising children, but it never really touched me personally. I just never understood why it mattered. I was maybe twenty-two when my dad’s first book was released. Of course, he asked before he wrote about me, and I agreed to him discussing my journey because there was literally no drama to my coming out. When the book released, that’s the day I understood how influential my father truly was.”