He nodded, sensing her pain. There wasn’t anything he could say to change his actions over the last year, no matter how hard he wished it were so. He lifted his eyes to the black sedan pulling to the front of the drive. His grandmother’s driver, Mr. Kinkaid got out and rounded the hood of the car. He stayed several feet away to respect their privacy but stood ready for when needed.
“Everything that I thought was important doesn’t seem to matter now. Every goal I set for myself has shifted. I’m looking for something different for my future. I’ve put out some feelers with a general practice group I know. I might like to try the emergency room, maybe the fast pace will appeal to me, but also maybe not. Medicine seems an obligation now. My drive— No, my passion for it is no longer there…Who knows what I’ll do? I’ve got a new outlook on a few things. I have some ideas.”
“As long as it’s for the right reasons, I’ll support your decisions. I know you well enough to know you aren’t rash.”
“I don’t know what the right reasons are, but I think I went at medicine too hard. It was all consuming. I lost a lot of my life—a lot of time I can’t get back,” he said, staring down at their joined hands, taking comfort in the warmth she tried to give. “When I look back over my adult life, it’s all a blur. I can’t help feeling like I’ve missed the important parts.”
“Burnout is real, honey. Your whole family’s extremely proud of you. I know Avery was…and Kane. They both worried about you taking on so much. Did they tell you?”
He shook his head. They had most likely tried, but he was lost to his world.
Instead of continuing down this rabbit hole, he let go of her hand and patted her thigh. “He’s waiting.” He nodded toward her driver. “You should go.”
Though his grandmother was the most aware person he knew, she seemed surprised to see Mr. Kinkaid there. The sternness was back in her tone when she raised her voice to say, “I didn’t call for you.”
“Nonnie, he’s good at his job,” Robert said, intervening on behalf of the man who had been employed by his Nonnie for all of Robert’s life. He took her elbow, trying to help her rise to her feet.
She let out a sigh and did finally let him help her up. “I don’t like to be rushed. He knows that.”
“He’s just standing there at the ready,” Robert said, taking slow steps toward her waiting car. “I like that he looks out for you. I’m glad he’s traveling with you now. You need someone you trust with you.”
Kennedy gave Robert a hard-edged side-eye. She was so damned independent that he was certain he was about to be called out for implying she needed help, but his grandmother surprised him when she said, “Sophia called this morning. She thinks you’re romantically interested in the young man from the honor guard…”
A loud bark of laughter burst from his chest, startling her to a stop. He nudged Kennedy forward, taking bigger steps toward the waiting driver who had edged closer to open the back door. Robert motioned the man to take her arm. “No, no, no, we’re not having this conversation. Come get in the car.”
She halted him, clasping his arm with surprising strength, not letting him go as her steps slowed to an almost stop. “Why? I want to know if you have someone in your life. I want you to be happy. You need to find yourself a nice young man, settle down, and think about a family of your own. Courting a military man sounds very romantic. I’ve always loved a man in uniform.” A dreamy look flitted over her face before her expression changed to one of indicating she expected a reply. The tips of his ears heated under her assessing stare. She didn’t budge and neither did he.
Why did every member of his family have to be so frustratingly single-minded and hardheaded? Sophia was his biological mother and had been in his and Autumn’s life since their birth. They had a healthy relationship based on the circumstances of his birth. She never considered herself their mother in the traditional sense; neither had he or Autumn. She was more like a proud aunt who had gallantly picked up the pieces after his fathers’ deaths. He loved his extended family, even when he had to remind himself of the love in times like this.
“I promise you I don’t have anyone significant in my life. I haven’t spoken to Landon in a month. There’s nothing there between us. He’s just a real good guy who was there for me when I needed him.” Robert undid his grandmother’s hold and handed her off to Mr. Kinkaid then took the four steps toward the open back door of the car.