Landon rubbed his sternum and groaned because not telling them caused him guilt. What the hell? He was too young to be having all this guilt. Landon scanned his inbox for Robert's name, bypassed all the incoming mail from other people. He frowned, his brows descending into a hard V as he once again felt the sting of disappointment.
Robert confused him. Hell, his own feelings confused him. For fuck’s sake the man starred in his dreams every single night. He wasn’t sure he actually went a solid minute throughout the day that he wasn’t thinking about Robert in some way.
Somehow, Landon and Autumn had struck up a friendship. They had exchanged several emails over the last month. He would be forever thankful for her kindness too. She was friendly and open and talked about her brother freely. She even sent a photo of Robert sleeping in the reclining chair at her apartment. He liked Autumn. She was sweet and funny, very intelligent, and for some reason, determined not to lose track of him. In contrast, her brother had gone radio silent.
It shouldn’t bother him, but it did. He shut the lid and tossed the computer on the bed, staring at the wall in front of him. It was the only wall in the place that didn’t have a picture on it.
“Get a grip,” he said to himself and pushed off the bed. He was driving himself insane. There was a whole world waiting outside of these walls. He needed to shower and go find a date. Hell, he had his phone. He could swipe right. He’d need to go someplace else to have sex, though. Bringing anyone back to this room wouldn't feel right. Robert probably wouldn’t care, but Landon did.
Maybe he’d drive that fancy Cadillac. That thing alone was sure to get him laid. He smirked to himself as he headed to the shower. As if he’d actually let himself do any of that.
Robert tossed his keys on the desk in his hotel suite, his chest still heaving from the workout he’d just had. As much as he’d wanted to lighten up on his diet, sneak in some bad choices here and there, he sucked at cheating. His punishment for the less than four bites of one of the best rib eye steaks he’d ever had was two extra miles on the treadmill. He’d logged six miles tonight. Funny, the amount of help jogging provided for his depression equaled how much he didn’t want to do it anymore.
Being a creature of habit, Robert took a seat at the desk and opened his laptop. He lifted his arm, wiping the sweat with his shirt sleeve before opening his email program. He scanned his inbox and his heart sank: mostly junk mail, nothing worth opening. Robert rocked back in the chair and stared at the screen. Disappointment creeped through him.
“Move on.”
That was good advice. Yet he didn’t budge from his seat.
“You need a life.”
Again, a solid nine out of ten on the scale of good advice, and he still didn’t move.
“If you’re not going to do either of those, then go take a shower. You stink,” he said, lifting his eyes to the mirror on the wall behind the laptop.
He spun the chair around and got to his feet. A shower was exactly what he needed. Maybe he could wash all these confusing thoughts away. He had started for the bedroom when he stopped and turned back to the laptop. What if he reached out? Literally every person in his life wanted him to be with Landon. Of course, they didn’t know anything about the man other than his generous act of volunteering to guard his father’s casket overnight, well past the responsibility of his shift as honor guard.
Robert needed some friends with testosterone. All these females were suffocating him with all their in-depth analyzing of everything about him.
Landon had been his friend. He hoped they could be again. Robert went for the laptop only to force himself to pivot away again. “He’s obviously not into you. Don’t beg.”
Screw it. He wasn’t above begging. Maybe they could turn into friends with benefits. At least, he’d get to let off steam. Besides, he needed to go to DC to meet with the library committee and start putting his life back together. Robert sat in front his laptop and opened a new message. After a long heavy exhale, he began typing.
Chapter 11
Landon flexed in the mirror, a big silly grin spread on his lips before he busted out into a full laugh. He shook his head. His body looked deformed. He’d worked out hard to get back on his feet, but the result was a body that could be a before and after picture all in one. His physical therapist had made such a big deal out of giving the bone of his still casted arm time to heal that he’d been careful not to overuse that arm. Based on his reflection, he had followed the advice a little too well. Now, he just looked ridiculous. The arm without the break had a bicep bulge made for a fitness magazine. Above the cast on the other was almost as scrawny as a pre-Captain America Steve Rogers. He could only imagine how the muscles had atrophied under the cast. Once he had finally shed the cast, he’d have his work cut out for him.