Forever (Always & Forever 2)
Page 63
He caught Robert around the waist and drew him close as he reached for Robert’s arms, urging him to reciprocate and wrap those strong, sure arms around his body. The beautiful moment came when Robert complied, holding him tightly. For every minute of the last week, Landon had been sick with worry that he’d do something to mess this up between them.
Thankfully, his outburst hadn’t scared Robert away. Landon pressed his face into the crook of Robert’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need for apologies. I like buying things for you, Landon. I wasn’t trying to imply anything other than my new and clearly deep-seated need to take care of you,” Robert said as Landon pressed his lips against the warm skin of Robert’s exposed neck.
Landon stayed close with his head buried, trying to make Robert understand his feelings of inadequacy. “I don’t need to be taken care of. I don’t want you to take care of me…” He stopped himself just short of adding that he wanted to be the one caring for Robert. Him trying to take care of a man like Robert Adams—hell, he was setting himself up for disaster.
“But I want to. I wish you would let me,” Robert continued in a plea. “I want a lot of things with you. I’m ready to define the lines. There’s so much I want to say but haven’t. Landon, you have to know that what we have is real. I feel it to my core. This last week has been one of the best of my life. I know I should let you sleep more, and I try. I just want to be with you every second of every day.” Robert pressed his lips against his ear before his handsome lover’s cheek came to rest against the side of Landon’s head.
“Robert, you’re killing me.” Landon forced his head back to look Robert straight in the eyes. “You make it so hard to keep perspective.”
“It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me too. So, I say, we don’t try to keep perspective. We just go with the moment and don’t get upset when I do something like pay for our food. I have an uncontrollable need to take care of you…and of us. It’s new for me. I don’t fully understand it, but it’s real, and you’re important to me.”
Whatever this was with Robert was important to Landon too. Robert’s fingers lightly covered Landon’s mouth, stopping him from speaking those words.
“Just give it to me. Let’s say in a few months, if you haven’t gotten sick of me and bolted, then we’ll talk money arrangements.” Robert’s fingertips stayed against his lips, a clear indicator he wasn’t finished speaking. “Now, tell me what I’ve done to make you feel less than.”
That was the comic relief Landon needed. He was torn between leaving the embrace and pulling Robert closer to him as he laughed right in his face. He hated the feelings plaguing him, the glaring insecurities holding him back. “You’re like a rare diamond, and I’m a five-dollar piece of cut glass. You know that. We’re on the opposite ends of the spectrum.”
“I don’t see us that way at all.” Robert stepped out of his hold—to Landon’s regret—and pressed a strong palm against Landon’s chest, keeping him in place. “Not even a little bit.” Robert shook his head, that intense blue gaze locking with his. “Landon, I’m all in. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”
Those heart-seizing words were so matter-of-factly stated that Landon had to play them over in his head to make sure he’d heard them correctly. Robert stepped away from him as he spoke. Landon didn’t follow as the words momentarily glued his feet to the floor.
“Take whatever time you need. Throw whatever fit you must. Play it however you need to, but I’ll be working hard to make sure I’m the only man you ever want for the rest of your life. So, if I pay for a sausage, now you know my reason.”
When Robert disappeared into the kitchen, Landon followed. Then watched as Robert opened the refrigerator and took out a water bottle.
“I don’t want… You’re going to wake up one day and see me differently.”
“I’m certain I see you clearly, Landon. I know who you are, and I feel this is real.” Robert came to him, unscrewing the top of the water bottle and handing it to Landon, giving him the first drink. Robert’s actions proved his words—he always put Landon first. Landon took a long drink as Robert finished. “I missed you like crazy after I left Germany. You’re all I’ve thought about. I think I see you very clearly, maybe better than you see yourself.”
Landon handed the half empty bottle to Robert who gulped the rest of it down. Of course, he didn’t agree, but he’d take what Robert seemed so willing to give and appreciate the time they had together.