Forever (Always & Forever 2)

“Is it hard to be here?” Landon asked, leaning back against his chest, taking his hands and threading their fingers together before clutching them around his waist.

“No, not now. You’re my magic healing balm.” Robert leaned in, kissing Landon’s shoulder. “Had things not happened exactly as they had, we may not be standing here today. What if I hadn’t found you?”

Landon looked back at him with a certainty before he said, “I would’ve found you. You may not have seen me, but I would’ve seen you.”

“You may not have wanted me. I was pretty self-absorbed.” He brushed his mouth against those plump lips.

“I would’ve wanted you.” Landon turned back to the window.

In the distance, the St. Croix could be seen. His dad had been so smart to angle the house just like this. He wondered how many times his fathers had stood in this window, watching the river churn. How much had Robert missed by taking this all for granted for so many years?

“From the second I heard your voice in Germany, I wanted more. Hell, I wanted more when I watched you care for your father at the funeral. You take care of everyone around you. I wanted to find a man just like you.”

Robert smiled at Landon’s sweet attempt at making sure he didn’t grow too melancholy being there. A place Landon had asked to see, one Robert hadn’t been back to since the same day turnaround trip he’d taken for the dedication and official opening.

“We’ve been married for over twenty hours. What’s your assessment so far?”

“Honest?” Landon’s chin hit his chest, pausing for a moment. “I’m so in love with you I can’t quite process it all.” The confession was whispered in that sexy, husky tone Robert loved. Landon sounded vulnerable and unsure, reflecting Robert’s exact feelings. He could hear people downstairs. Since the library had opened, it had been surprisingly busy, more so than anyone had anticipated. Their conversation had turned intimate, maybe too much so for prying ears, and Robert left Landon there, going to the bedroom door to shut and lock them inside the room.

“You have to know I feel that same way.” Robert started back for Landon who had turned his way, leaning against the window’s edge. “I say this cautiously, but I’m beginning to understand how my daddy died so quickly. I realize I had no say with how it was going to end for him.” Robert motioned between the two of them, struggling to find the right words. “I can’t imagine the depth of how this will grow between us over forty years if we’re already here.”

“I want more than forty years,” Landon automatically said, the blurt maybe a surprise to him as his eyes widened at the revelation.

“Me too. I want forever.” Robert had never been surer of anything in his life. Robert came within inches of Landon, standing before his husband who looked concerned.

“Do you think they’ll repeal marriage for us?” Landon asked. “Our country has a history of doing shitty things like that.”

“I don’t know, but it won’t change anything for us. That’s a big reason for what Autumn took care of today. I want you cared for throughout your life.”

Landon didn’t say a word, he just took Robert’s hand and turned back to the window, bringing Robert’s arm around his waist again.

“I added you as my beneficiary. It’s small, kind of embarrassing compared to some of the numbers I saw today, but it’s yours.”

Robert grinned at the back of Landon’s head. Just knowing Landon had made sure he was taken care of in case anything happened filled him with a deep completeness.

He didn’t want to dampen their conversation, and all this talk of possible death seemed a bit morbid, so he changed the subject, pulling away to look around the room. Robert went for the enormous king-size bed, running his fingers over the bedspread he remembered from his youth.

“So many items in the house were found saved in the attic. I remember this bedspread. I was young, like four or five. I remember hearing noises. Their door was shut, and I thought something was wrong. I tried to get inside the room, but the door was locked. I ran for Autumn. We listened outside the door, and Autumn swore something was terribly wrong. She banged on the door. We were crying…” He stopped talking, remembering their fear for their fathers. His daddy opened the door in his robe, his face all red. Robert hadn’t thought of that memory in so long and wasn’t sure he’d ever reconciled what they were doing inside this room until right that minute.

Landon came toward him, a big grin on his face. “I caught my dad checking out my mom’s butt when I was about five. I’m pretty sure by second grade I figured it all out. My best friend’s older brother taught us all about sex. I couldn’t understand why anyone would ever do something like that. It seemed gross.”