Painted On My Heart

That wasn’t something he’d ever been willing to admit before now, but then again, all the overwhelming emotions involving Kellus had turned his world completely upside down.

Building a life with someone hadn’t been something he’d really ever given much consideration to, but the more time he spent with Kellus, the more he wanted to explore that kind of relationship. A new sensation flooded his heart, causing a small smile to lift the corners of his mouth as tingles skated along the surface of his skin. Yeah. He wanted it all with that man in there, and he wasn’t certain Kellus understood what a mind-blowing, life-changing conclusion Arik had come to from their time together. He wanted Kellus Hardin on a death-do-us-part level, and he would do whatever it took to make that happen.

Kellus’s fear was the only true obstacle to making all his dreams come true. The fact that Kellus was HIV positive didn’t matter, not to him. He couldn’t help but feel Kellus’s hesitancy in all of this. Of course Kellus would have concerns, who wouldn’t? Reassuring him would only come with time.

Another interesting conclusion had transpired from their night together. With Kellus, Arik had easily pushed away his ever-present apprehension concerning relationships. His fear of not being enough or failing, and in this case, laying his heart on the line and still being alone in the end hadn’t caused him to run in the other direction. His feelings for Kellus were solid.

Some might call it insta-love or say that his and Kellus's relationship seemed rushed. Neither were true. The opposite actually. He’d learned so much about the man from his art, that this morning’s realization had been five long years in the making.

The heavy weight of all those heady thoughts was just too much to deal with right now. Arik would force the natural intensity he carried in everything he did to take a backseat and give Kellus time to come to these same conclusions. He ran a wet palm over his face and grabbed a hand towel on the way out of the bathroom, running it across his damp skin as he walked back into the bedroom.

Much like his attitude, his very private quarters had been forever altered by the man still lying in his bed. Arik’s gaze shifted to Kellus who had done exactly what he had asked and waited for him to return—his seed still marking his territory. A deep, primal notion had him wanting his come rubbed all over Kellus and dried into that man’s skin, soaked deep into his soul. Worn as a constant reminder of who Kellus now belonged to and to keep that bottom-feeder ex-boyfriend from sniffing around what he’d tossed aside.

Instead of saying any of that out loud or letting his possessive thoughts be known, Arik grinned and rounded the edge of the bed to Kellus’s side.

“You’re a perfect sight to wake to,” he said and took a seat on the side of the mattress, regretfully wiping away the evidence of his desire.

“I slept like a baby,” Kellus replied, then smiled, the color of his cheeks deepening, hopefully from the compliment.

“I love my bed. It’s a Vera Wang. I think about this bed when I’m on the road.” Arik turned the cooling cloth, dipping it more deeply inside Kellus’s bellybutton.

“I might need to invest in one.”

“There’s no need. You can just sleep in mine,” he said absently, laying the dry hand towel on Kellus’s muscled stomach and rubbing the area he’d just made wet. When Kellus didn’t respond, he placed the washrag in the center of the hand towel, folded both, and placed them on the nightstand.

“Too soon for such declarations?” he asked, watching Kellus closely.

There were several uncertain moments filled with many different expressions ghosting across Kellus’s handsome face before he pushed up and settled back against the headboard, running his fingers through the longer front pieces of his hair.

“I wasn’t responsible last night.” Kellus sounded defeated. Now both hands shoved through his hair. A nervous habit Arik had watched over and over since he’d first met Kellus. Arik had to fist his hand to keep from reaching out and following Kellus’s lead. He desperately wanted to touch those silky strands himself.

“We took every precaution you insisted upon. Even some that I totally disagreed with,” Arik countered. He was learning that he needed a prepared arsenal of arguments resting in his back pocket, ready to throw out as countermoves against Kellus’s hardheaded, stubborn moral compass. He’d never met anyone with such a strong sense of integrity as this man staring back at him.

“It’s all still a risk for you.”

“Not if what you’ve told me is the truth. I have close friends who’ve been in a loving, long-term relationship, remember? One’s negative and the other’s positive. They made it work years ago, and there’s been so many advances. We’re in different times now. The advancements keep us safer. We were more than responsible last night. I’m not at all worried,” he explained very patiently.